Scars will make us remember for life.

I love how I can always connect to Corrinne May's songs someway or another, and I've wrote a few poems regarding my life in attachment and how I feel.

I like the photograph below, and I somehow can relate something to this girl's eyes, and her scarred face, well except mine is a moon-cratered one.

Many thanks to adritzz on Flickr for this shot.

To give you a peek about how I feel currently, here's the certain exerpts of the lyrics to Corrinne May's song, Scars.

I just want to ru

Just want to hide away

Close my eyes to your gaze.

Just want to leave

Don't want to hear them say

"You're no good at this"

When the world swirls with naysayers

Broken wings and torn pages

The road ahead

Drowning in my tears

Break me open

Tear me down

Into pieces

Broken crumbs

On the ground

You can mould and shape me

In your image

Breath your life

You know I need it

Scars make us stronger for life.

Losing myself

Gaining it back again

Forging strength from weakness

All that I am

All that I meant to be

Melting in your hand

Let the world swirl with naysayers

Pickled hearts and sour faces

What is real what I cannot see.

Scars might not make us stronger for life, but they will make us remember them for life.

Thinspiration.

I suddenly have my short fuse desire to lose weight, and I've not been eating proper meals for dinner, but filling up with fruit juices, raw carrots etc. But when I ate dinner on weekends..

BOOM! I suffered the yo-yo effects of dieting. I gained nearly a kilogram on Monday. Perhaps it's time to excerise, but I'm finding excuses again.

Gotta go, and I shall master the courage and persevere!

Hungry Ghost Festival!

It's the Hungry Ghosts Festival again, and for those who doesn't know what it is, it's actually a month's period whereby hungry ghosts from Hell roam around the Earth.

Don't be surprised if you see people burning incense and offerings to the dead.

I have a phobia of taking the lift and walking the corridor whenever I reach home late at night. Now that the Hungry Ghost Festival is here, my mom will advise me to not stay so late.

And some other rules that has to be followed according to traditions:

1. Don't look back if someone calls your name.
2. Don't step on burnt offerings.
3. No vulgarities.
4. Go home early.

And the list goes on.

And guess what, I'm left with 1 month for attachment, AND I'M COUNTING DOWN!

The Problem With Diving.

My dad was trying to coax me not to go diving this coming October, as he thought it was dangerous, due to the recent news of Bali drownings. He further on talks about how dangerous diving is, and how he had rubbed shoulders with death when he was swimming in Desaru, Malaysia.

This topic has come up to me umpteen times, but I just want to address it one last time.

Call me stubborn, headstrong, or whatever but I personally think that nobody should stop me from going for my passion.

Sure, diving is dangerous. But I treasure my life, and I will be extra careful. And my dad, who attempts to coax me not to go, is not convincing me because he drinks and smokes. Both activities already had a toll on his body after over 20 years.

(Oh yes, he saw a project that I did in Year 1 whereby it was a perfume bottle concept and I constructed it to look like a coffin. (Polytechnic friends, Mr Ayob's balsa wood, remember?) Guess what? He said I left such things at home, that's why he had heart problems, yada yada and other nonsense. Then, he threw that model away. How ridiculous?)

Back to the topic, I just feel that he is not in a position to talk me out, but could rather care and show some concern, because he is doing stuff that is dangerous to himself as well. Plus, I have the mentality that if a person's time is up, his time is up.

Let's give an analogy. If you have been a safe driver, abiding to road safety and rules, and suddenly a drunk driver rams you right at the back of your car. You're killed.

Who do you blame? Your rotten luck that got you killed? Does that justify your death?

No matter what, let's just say that nobody can stop me from pursuing my passion.
(I can hear you adults say: Forget it, you will understand when you have children next time.)

Oh no, I just doesn't like the direction of where this post is heading. Shall stop here.

Celebrations!

I've been going out intensively over the past few weeks, so Imma post some of the photographs, credit to Daphne, and Yingying for the photos.

At Kbox, celebrating Shi Li's birthday. Fun time with them! Shall update a few..

Love the balloons!

Have you guys watched UP? I did, and I thought it was pretty good, except for the whopping movie ticket of $13, because of the 3-D glasses. It felt uncomfortable, and uneasy but the show is solid. 4/5 stars for that man.

Went to the airport to welcome Daphne and Wei Qi back to Singapore from their diving trip to Bali. They've seen so many exotic sea creatures and I felt so intrigued. It's like fuelling your passion once again!

Glad they had lots of fun!

Happy Birthday Singapore!

Happy 44th Birthday Singapore!

I wasn't really crazed over the celebrations for Singapore for the past few years, but this time round, my friends wanted to see fireworks so we went down to Marina Square.

Spectacular I must say, I think fireworks are one of the best inventions. The vibrant colours, and the strokes of the fireworks were beautiful. I was amazed as a child, and I'm still amazed even at this age, perhaps I thought of the wonderful things with such beautiful stuff.

When we walked back to the atrium of Marina Square, we were greeted with a roadshow of the previous National Day Parade (NDP) celebrations, and they were projecting the previous NDP songs.

Then, never did I expected I would be overwhelmed with so much emotions.

Filled with people. With most people in a sea of red and white.

They played the song "Home" which was sang by Kit Chan. Good reminiscence of the past, filled with nostalgia. But it was exceptional this time round.

People started singing the song.

"This is home, truly, where I know I must be

Where my dreams wait for me, where that river always flows

This is home, surely, as my senses tell me

This is where I won't be alone..."

Everyone in the atrium started singing the chorus. I was touched. I've never felt so much patriotism before, and I was so proud of being a Singaporean. It was definitely a beautiful sight to behold, looking at everyone singing together.

Ahh, what a great day. And I've finally recovered from my flu, experiencing chills and weakness in my body.

And I've had a new haircut, but my friends say it made my head look bigger. But I thought it was rather nice. Hmmmm..

Well, it shouldn't look like that. But never mind..

Work again..

My liasion officer came like two days ago, brought 2 packs of chocolates (which helped). It was great looking at a familiar face.. It was rather an awkward conversation between him, my bosses and me..

He knows of my insane routine, and I love how he tell my boss

"Yeah, the students come here for BOOT CAMP."

Hohoho. They keep talking about having the attitude, and being it right. Somehow, I felt a little guilty, that I should have endured this thing and not give up half-way.

Yes, attitude cannot be instilled or inculcated, because it's entirely up to your own mindset. I've only got 6 weeks left, but I really can't wait to end this attachment, along the way probably getting some valuable experience.

But I WILL NEVER work in such an environment in the near future. Seriously, attitude is one thing, but when you never know what time you end work, you simply don't have a life.

I'm convinced about that, because it's impossible to meet up with friends, or even organise outings because it's so last minute. It's something like this:

Eddie: Want L4D today?
Me: Not sure, have to see what time I end work. I'll let you know if I'm going."
Eddie: Ok.

Bam, I finished work at 10pm.


Oh, my liasion officer asked me what have I learnt, I just tell him some of the typical stuff; techniques, layout etc. I wanted to say that this is the first time I've finally learnt how to wash the toilet.

Yes people, I don't know how to wash a toilet, I know I'm a lucky kid. But let's just say that initially I've never expected myself to wash toilets (not referring it as a degrading task) during my internship.

Oh well, just 6 more weeks. 6 more weeks!

I've got so many things that I want to do and I'm trying to find time.



I'll see how it goes, I'm hoping to finish recording a song by this weekend!