The last post of 2010.

Hello blog. You know, ever since I enrolled into National Service, I've not been faithful in blogging out. Nobody's probably gonna read this, so I guess it's like having a conversation with someone.

Ever since my last post, things have gotten better and I cannot be more thankful than that. One habit that I've developed is going to town during weekends, and spend like nobody's business. Frugality? I've never thought of that.

After all, my leisure time is only during the weekends, and all I thought of was actually to eat and play, eat and play, and eat and play. I asked myself: Am I going to do this for the next 2 years?

No. And hence after much consideration, I've taken one of my lesser-favoured hobbies to a whole new level.

Buying a DSLR for Photography.


That made me real broke, but I decided to build up a personal portfolio, so that it'll be easier for me to find jobs outside after my service. I'll focus into photojournalism on occasional weekends.


Ah, did I mention that I've kinda lost touch with blogging and writing? I'm getting back the feel of blogging once again it seems.


Did I mentioned that I've lost 14kg during the past few months? Life's got better and I've gained back 2 kg, but I'm pretty much determined to maintain this weight of mine. I've been exercising some self-discipline, by running 8 km every few days.

I've been fat my whole life, and I don't want to get to that point again. It's really tough, especially given my personal preferences and choices, but I believe I'll prevail.

On the other hand, this year has been a good year in terms of health wise, and I'm glad my family and relatives are doing just fine. I'm also glad to have met some amazing people who guided me throughout my new journey. Even when I go jogging alone, I would think of the times where we ran together as a group, and how people encouraged and spurred me on. I'm really thankful for the memories, and thank you guys for being there.

Did I mention that I became more independent? In the past, I seemed to go out only if I had a friend's company. But now, I will still go out alone if there's no one to accompany me. A lot of people interpret this as being emo or assume I've got no friends or whatsoever. But weekends are my only leisure time, and sometimes, things just need to be done, even if I'm alone.

I've became more mature and braver, and I guess I've grown stronger, personality-wise.


It's the end of 2010, and I guess it went by in a flash. I've learnt that even if we're leading mundane lives, we can still make a difference in our everyday lives by making someone smile or making a positive impact in someone's life, even for a day, and with that I hope that in 2011, I can apply the same thing to the mundane life which I assume I'll be having.

And with that, I wish you a Happy New Year, with many blessings!


*2010 has been a year of significant birthdays personally: My 21st birthday, and my Mom's 50th birthday!

Wish it was just a dream.

I just feel that I should just visit this old avenue of mine, because the future still holds a lot of uncertainties for me, and I just feel like typing at this point of time. And for now, I'm scared.

These 4 months of training has indeed made me a stronger person, and I've lost tremendous amount of weight, and being tougher mentally.

But it seems that God wants to prepare me for a path that's tougher than I can imagine. I'm in a state of mixed feelings, and I'm not prepared at all.

It's all my fault I guess. Always hoping for the best, and yet when I fall, the disappointment sinks in. Friends around me seems to get the best deal, and I should be looking it in a different light, a different perspective.

I'm trying to be happy, I really am. But my personality makes me otherwise, and right now I need guidance, and motivation. Something that I can look forward to.

Things which can never be deciphered.

Life's been getting depressing as time passes, and I'm trying to stay positive.

I've been getting quieter and just keep to myself, except at times when I manage to let out a weak smile.

I went to the temple to seek some advice, and the interpretation was:

For the present moment, there will be some difficulties, be patient and wait a while.


I will try to heed this advice, and I'm trying to believe. Really. Sometimes, I hate myself that I'm so mentally weak, and physically weak as well.

Guide me through all of these, please.

I've learn how to treasure.

It's been 2 months, and I'm still not used to this whole thing.

One thing that I've learnt since the past 8 weeks is that I've learned to treasure my parents, and relatives and my brother, not to mention friends as well. All these things, including my home which I've been taking it for granted for so many years.

I get depressed real easily, and trying to listen and singing songs to lift up my moods, and not mention that I've injured my back for the past one week and it hasn't recover for already 1 month.

I'll try my best to blog every weekend. I really don't know what's in store for me for the future.

Sanity.

Been a tumultuous period for me as I try to adjust, but let's just say that currently I'm coping fine.

I'll be strong, and I'll carry on.

National Service.

As you are reading this, I'm probably packing away to Pulau Tekong, for my National Service.

Fast forward after my graduation from Nanyang Polytechnic, and now Singapore called upon my service to serve the nation.

Just now I was at the temple praying for my safety, wellness and such, and I bumped into Howard, who was my favourite columnist and a role model, because I respect him so much. I suddenly realise that I have so much things I wanna achieve in life.

I called both my maternal and paternal grandparents to ask them to take good care of their health and eat well. My maternal grandmother, upon hearing the news that I was enlisting tomorrow, suddenly cried.

It suddenly struck me that being the eldest son in the family line, I am also the first to be enlisted in the army. I was also grateful and am thankful for all the well-wishes that my friends and family gave, and I feel truly blessed. I love every single one of you.

I have been telling myself that this will be a slimming centre, and that they are paying me to slim down, although 2 years is a long time.

I know that this 2 years of journey which I will embark on will change my thinking and life. And I won't be returning to Singapore for the next 2 weeks.

So as I embark on this 2-year journey, I thank you for all the support that you have given for this blog and your compliments for the past 5 years. This blog will not be closed, and like I said before: As long as I'm alive, I will continue to blog. (Maybe this time only the weekends)

I miss each and every one of you.

And I shall end this note with my shaved head, in comparison to a basketball:

Goodbye all.

I hate late nights.

So many stuff have happened, shall blog them soon.

Just wanna say that I hate late nights, cos they will make me get emotional when I listen to love songs.

I'll leave for a better place.

An unexpected opportunity.

Pardon my week-long absence, as it has been a rather busy week for me. I've finally taken a break for the next few weeks before my enlistment, and will be working a few days every now and then.

After this whole experience at a particular departmental store, I believe I'm not used to working in such an environment, especially when it's inevitable to be part of the politics between brands, with promoters quarreling every single now and then. I must say that my fellow promoters treat me very well.

Most importantly, I had one of the best customer experiences with people, and that it will etch a memory in me forever. One of the customers and his mum offered to shake my hand because he was thankful and grateful for what I've done for him and I was extremely happy.

But there was this particular customer which I must mention. I remembered vividly that he came to buy bedsheets, and he wanted to buy a few sets. He had trouble finding suitable colours, so I asked him about his wall and tile colours, and further on asking what kind of look and feel he wants for his room.

I gave him my opinion based on my visualisation, and helped him to match. He was quite indecisive because he was quite unsure about his mattress size and such, and he ended up buying a set. He was thankful and apologise to me for taking so much of my time. He then further asked for a namecard or any contact number that I could give, so that he can further request for me when he comes down to the departmental store.

I ended up giving him my personal namecard which states that I'm a graphic designer.

Few days later, I received a call from OWELL Bodycare, and the caller knew that I was working as a bedlinen promoter and that my service was extremely good. She also knew I studied design, and further on asked: Are you interested in being a Visual Merchandiser?

She said that I will be in-charge of some operational stuff and be in-charge of their displays and such. She hopes to be in contact with me, and said that she is willing to wait until I finish my National Service before hiring me. Of course, I need to work as a part-timer to understand the nature of their products and such.

I was in a state of shock, and I was overwhelmed.

I mean, seriously?!

What are the chances of a customer helping to refer you to do other jobs?

I know that there's no way that this customer will see this, but I just wanna say this:

Thank you sir, for appreciating the stuff that I've done and believing in me. And you gave me this opportunity to work with your contacts. Words can never describe how grateful and thankful I am to you, but I'm really overwhelmed with your kindness. I hope that one day if I ever see you again, I would like to take the chance to shake your hand in gratefulness. Thank you very much!!

I hate my personality.

Yesterday, I had a fellow colleague who shouted and pointing at me using his index finger at me in the sales floor right in front of fellow promoters and customers.

Come to think of it, it wasn't totally my fault, but I decided to apologise and give in because I didn't want a quarrel. But this guy kept shouting at my female colleague, asking her to quarrel after finishing work, to see who wins or whatsoever.

I was in a state of shock. In my years as a promoter, I never get shouted by any departmental store managers or supervisors, and I got shouted by another brand's promoter, accusing me of: don't you know the law here?

I somehow felt scared I must say.

After this incident, I hated myself. People say that I'm someone who's too nice, and too soft-hearted. That probably resulted in me being bullied by friends, and always attempting to retreat during a quarrel.


I mean, I have my own temper, and it's just that I haven't flare up my real temper to most people.

I know most people will probably retaliate given my position but for me I just chicken out.


I hate myself. Why am I like that?

Sorry.

I know, I haven't been blogging much, and it's kinda boring nowadays.

It's just that I haven't been able to blog out my thoughts well. And I'm just stressed out.

Thank you to those who stayed and supported. :)

5th June.

Enlisting in 5th June..

Nation called, and it's time to serve my National Service for the country. Everything is happening so fast, so hectic.

I believe this will be a major turning point for me in my life with a strong impact, although I don't know the direction of it. Let's hope everything turns out well.

Another phase, and I must be strong enough to face it. Talk about having trimmed hair close to skinhead is something which I never had.

Gotta spend time meeting up with friends, colleagues and acquaintances soon. I'm still deciding when to end work. Damn..

Enlistment date..

Knowing one's enlistment date is like taking back 'O' levels results.

So freaking anxious and somehow scary.

Some of my friends already got their enlistment dates.

I wonder when's mine?!

One of them. One of us.

"The rain is falling.
Defeat is calling.
I need you to set me free."



Working in a place where competition is nigh high, and sales-driven promoters quarrel over the slightest things, this is the worst that I've ever seen in my 4-5 years working as a promoter.



Vultures, crocodiles and lions roam the sales floor, with politics everywhere.





I've been trying to adapt to this place, which is a different ball game from anywhere else. And so far, I haven't been in a quarrel with any of them because I chose not to retaliate.



I mean, why would people come to work and cut each other sales and start quarreling? Shouldn't it be a happy place to work at? Competition should be healthy and encouraged but it wasn't meant to be.



It is up to this point where I feel I'm not cut to be a promoter. I'm not very aggressive. I'm not ruthless, and I'm not dangerous, and I seldom cut sales in order to maintain a good relationship with my colleagues. This is not me, and I believe no matter what, the customer should be in the welfare of getting what he needs, regardless of the brand.



But in the jungle, sheeps like me are meant to be eaten by other predators. In life it's always the same case. I'm usually the one being bullied and name-called.



Perhaps people haven't seen the side when I'm angry. Perhaps people haven't seen a raging sheep. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise to train my personality.





Soon, I will become one of them. One of us..

Affected.

Just a few hours ago, I've heard of this volcanic ash that's affecting major airports in Europe.

Here's an exerpt of the article:

A huge cloud of ash from the second major eruption in Iceland in less than a month blew eastwards across the Atlantic, closing major airports more than 1,000 miles (1,700 kilometres) away.

Britain closed its airspace to all flights. Nearly every airport in Norway, Denmark and across northern Sweden also shut down, authorities announced. There was major disruption in Belgium, France, Finland, Germany and the Netherlands.

More than 300 flights out of London's Heathrow and Gatwick airports and others in Britain were cancelled, including transatlantic services.

Never did I expect my overseas order would be affected too! Talk about being unlucky or what:

"Due to volcanic ash from an eruption in Iceland moving over Northern Europe, including the UK, all flights leaving the UK today (15/04/2010) have been cancelled. This has delayed your delivery and we kindly ask that you allow a further 1 working day to receive your order. We will contact you as and when further updates are received.Many thanks for your patience at this time."

Hanging by a thread.

I'm trying my best to hang on, and grit on my teeth.

I miss school, and I miss everyone.

Travel!

I can only look upon, as some of my friends went travelling recently..

Rebecca went to Perth to visit her best friend.

Daphne, Koon Xian and the gang is probably going Bangkok in June..

And more notably, CHERYL WENT TO EUROPE!!!!! She saw Effiel Tower, Stonehenge and Colosseum, and judging from her pictures it looks fantastic!!

I sometimes hate the fact that I'm different from some/most of my secondary school friends. They would rather travel to Taiwan, Thailand, Korea (probably influenced by K-Pop) or some random neighbouring countries!!

That's so unlike me. I rather explore western countries because I'm so interested in them. It's like being a frog in the well: You haven't seen the world.

Perhaps I should just go by myself.. and be a lone backpacker and see the world!!

Love.

"I hear them say
Love is the way
Love is the answer
that's what they say"

One of the devastating things that can happen to you is when you know that one of your relative's days are numbered.

And all the feelings like: why didn't I treat my relative better, or show some love etc.

Why do we always regret when someone's gone?

I've been trying to escape from reality by putting on my earpieces, bringing me to the world of music.

It felt wonderful, but at the same time it felt painful. It was as if something pierced through my heart.

Why?

The reality suddenly hits me with a hard knock in the head.

I will treasure every single person around me.

If it's a psychological thing, I will make sure I will not think about it this way.

So many issues to address, and I need the willpower.

God, please lead me and give me the strength and direction that I need.

Being a promoter and such.

After my last semester ended, I have been working as a promoter again, well, since the past 5 years. You see unlike me, my friends have been switching jobs here and there to strive for better pay, and different work experiences.

For me, I somehow like to stay in my comfort zone. I mean, my colleagues are good, the environment is good, the pay is considered not bad, why not? Unlike my friends who seek work experiences, I seek life experiences.

It gets boring a little every now and then, but I must say that being a promoter at town is a good experience for me.

As I sell high-end bedlinen, I encounter a lot of tourists, and we always strike a conversation every single time. Like how they love Singapore's weather, and what food they love in Singapore.

I'm too stupid to differentiate people (especially caucasians) from which country, and I always like to ask them.

I remembered there was this particular conversation which I had with this South African guy with 2 kids. The more we talked, the more I learnt about his country, and by the end of the conversation, he offered me a place to stay at his house, should I ever backpacked to his country.

I think its freaking awesome, because I've never really seen much of the world, and learning things and understanding their point of view, their culture and their views about stuff just makes me feel so excited.

And that's what I love about my vacation job.

I've been transferred to another departmental store, and I hope I'll adjust to its hostile surroundings easily. Wish me well!

If everyone cared..

Yesterday as I was on my way home with a few friends on the MRT, a blind man alighted together with us at the Dhoby Ghaut station, and started asking who could help him to get to the platform to Punggol.

Nobody responded to him, except for my friend to offered to bring him there.

It was really difficult, because he had to use a walking stick and he needed to "feel" the floor and his surroundings.

After this incident, I feel that I should be contented with myself, and be happy. Guess life is never fair, but we have to make full use of it.


Nickelback's If Everyone Cared is one video you have to watch, because it brings out an extremely strong message: