So tired.

These 2 weeks will be ridiculously hectic, and I hope I'll pass all the modules.

I was damn moody and tired since yesterday, because I had alot of work to do, thus had to leave early from the friends gathering.

I seriously do not know what my lecturer wants. I'm so pissed off. My other classmates did 3 paintings for their assignment. He wanted me to do TRIPLE of what they did. 9 paintings altogether, and today he's still not satisfied.

Painting is TIME-WASTING. (Notice I didn't use the word time-consuming.) And I did one painting like 30 minutes to 1 hour.

We had this particular final project which stands 70% of our module. And we had to produce sketches and show it to him.


I draw a sketch of an angel today with shadings and showed it to him.



Our conversation went like this:

Me: Is this good enough?
Lecturer: What do you think?



Obviously he didn't like mine, and flipped through my sketchbook and asked me this ludicrous but offensive question:

"Did you draw all these?"

"Duh."


And he asked me to just produce 12 sketches of portraits of people for the final project. It's like using a regular work and show it to him.

Do you know how terrible I feel? I seem to be the only one who haven't found my niche. And it seemingly tells me that I'm so different from others and that I suck.


I know my good friends are there for me. They offer their listening ears to me. But I just don't want to call them yet. I'm afraid of breaking down after pouring my woes to them which I will never ever wish to do that.


I'm really sick and tired of the bloody routine and deadlines every week.

And most importantly, I'm tired of being here.