Low self-esteem.

Haunting images of acne scars are coming back. And it makes me feel terrible. Over the years, when I take photographs with friends and family, I always avoid looking at my own face. I seldom look into the mirror.




I'm still taking Accutane, and although pimples are rare nowadays, the scars are much more visible. One day, I mistakenly look into the mirror to find out how terrible the scars were, and that I'm so depressed.







I've always had trouble with the way of how I look. During my primary school and early secondary school days, I refused to take any photographs unless it was necessary, and that I hate to look into the mirror.








During secondary school days, pimples became acne, and it got so bad, I had to see a doctor.






In order not to try to think of such things, I tried to make myself think I'm good-looking.
















I managed to succeed, and my ego started to grow.
















Then one fine day, one girl commented on my looks. The girl I used to love, said such insensitive things, and that is still not forgotten till this day.























It was like as if your body was pierced with so many spears.





I tried to pick myself up after that, but to not much avail. I'm still trying to tell myself that I'm just a caterpillar in its cocoon, and I haven't transform into a butterfly.





Up till now, I still believe that if my scars are gone, and that I lose alot of weight, I'll look alot better.




Here are 2 photos from a photo-shoot which are for my assignment. We were models for a day, and to be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to it. We had to mimic famous people with their poses.


It looks ugly.







Robbie Williams







Fantasia Barrino



I need to learn the meaning of self-acceptance.