Plunging down.

I'm feeling so terrible with so many things going on. Just when I seem to see some light, things are plunging down, with thoughts gushing through my mind like a whirpool.

Topics like self-esteem, self-deception, finding a girlfriend, my certain decisions and about my philosophies about certain things in life came rushing and haunting me back.


I wonder why can't I be like some people, be happy every single day and not worry about the future.


Can my soul decipher my mind of thoughts?

A gathering and a celebration.

It was the largest group gathering I've ever been; approximately around 28 people. Around 26 of us went to watch the movie, Transformers.

Rating 4.5/5. One word to describe: AWESOME!!

As we now lead different lives, this gathering is so important. It was definitely great. We chatted up alot, and to catch up with our lives.

Anyway, besides the gathering, we have a birthday celebration as well!

It was a surprise for Samantha..

And Liang Zhi was heading towards the birthday girl!

Singing the birthday song...

And the pretty birthday girl was so touched, she cried!

Sniff sniff..

Okay, she finally regained her posture.

It's her birthday today, so I would like to wish her a very happy birthday here!

And these are the photos of our gathering:

Every single one of you made my secondary school life great. And all of you are the one of the reasons why I am still alive.

May we keep in contact forever, till the end of our lifespan.

One left to pursue her dreams.

I heard that one girl decided to forsake her diploma studies in the School Of Design Year 1 to pursue her dreams of being a hairdresser.


Though I don't seem to have any recollection of her, I sincerely wish her all the best, and hope she becomes a really successful hairdresser.



Suddenly, lots of thoughts came rushing back, but I can't help but to write an impromptu poem which took me around 4 minutes..


One left to pursue her dream.
Her dream since young it seems.
I stand and look up to the night sky.
With my head held high.
I asked myself when I will be able to pursue my passion.
The job I really wanted with my obsession.
The relatives won't understand.
Though I wanted them to comprehend.


As I find myself into cerebration solemnly...

Rest in peace, Chris Benoit the Rabid Wolverine.

This post is specifically dedicated to one of my favourite wrestlers during my obsession with wrestling a few years back. (I didn't say he was one of my fave wrestlers just because he died.)

I don't know what to say. First it was Eddie Guerrero who died, and now you. Could you be missing him because he was your best friend, and other factors, so much so that you had to strangle your wife, suffocate your 7 year old son, and hang yourself?

I guess no one really knows what you were thinking at that point of time.

I will miss you, and I will never forget your tears of joy when you won the World Heavyweight Championship during Wrestlemania a few years back with Eddie Guerrero. I really have alot of respect for you since then.

Both held the 2 biggest titles WWE Championship and World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania XX. Both are dead now.

And I will miss your torturing finishing move: The Crippler Crossface.

It makes people tap out.

I don't know what else to say, except that I hope your wife, son and you rest in peace.

Rest in peace, Christ Benoit.

(1967-2007)

I need to change my perception of smoking.

Since young, I always hate it when my peers smoke, and it gives me a bad impression of them. As a result, I came to develop a stereotype that some youngsters smoke are delinquents, drop-off or mix with bad company, although it doesn't applies to everyone.







During secondary school, I made I knew who I feel comfortable with. These are the friends that accompanied me throughout my secondary school life.

I sometimes even thought that some of them has the same thinking as me, that smoking is bad etc.

So when I learned that a few of my close friends actually do smoke, there were only 1 word which would explain my feelings. Shocked.

No, I didn't feel anything negativity towards them.


I asked them why, and they gave reasons like being under alot of stress, and doing it out of curiosity.








My father is a heavy smoker. And I sometimes wonder why I dislike my peers to smoke, while I find it okay for my father to smoke. And this is because I find that my peers will grow up to become adults, just like my father is, and there seems to be no wrong to smoke when you're an adult. So what's wrong with it?



Still, I have decided to change my way of thinking towards teenage smoking. Even if some of my friends smoke, it doesn't mean they are deliquents. Because they are my close friends, and I know that they are not like that, and I would like to think that they're just my friends who smoke.


I can also swear to God that I will never shun them.


Do I smoke? No I don't, and I don't intend to. However, I doesn't want to rule it out because of the future.


I don't have the right to stop my friends from smoking. And the best I can do is hope that they will quit it totally, and not be to addicted, and that it will not fall on deaf ears.



I knew very well that this post will be read by some close friends. And I have tried my best not to offend anyone here. And I sincerely seek everyones' understanding.

What a wedding dinner!

This is the first time I've been to such an unique wedding dinner!

The bridegroom and bride do really know the meaning of love, and I feel really really happy for them.

The bride is from Shanghai, China. And she has a son previously. But the bridegroom, who is my father's cousin, love her so much that he didn't care anything, and they fell in love and got married today.

And so, technically speaking, I have a cousin now from China!

I'm so deeply touched by them..

Oh, did I say the wedding dinner was unique? Yes it is! I always thought wedding couples exchange their rings at the Registry of Marriages (ROM). But this time, they exchanged their rings together at the same place as the wedding dinner!

What's more, they even had the tea ceremony!

May I present you... the lovely wedding couple!

The invited guests..

Pouring the champagne...

Swapping glasses..

What's a wedding dinner without the traditional Yam-Seng?!

YAAAAMMM-SSEEEEENGGG!!!

Bridegroom's friends livening up the atmosphere!

The wedding dinner could have ended well if not for this manager:

CRISIS!

Dumb manager knocked the wedding cake over!

How can something like that happened during such an auspicious day?!

Sigh, anyway I would like to wish them to be forever blissful and have lots of happiness. They showed what love was all about.

It makes me wanna get married too! My elder cousin was asking me which sort of girls I prefer, and I was telling her that I like caucasian women, and those princess and decent type.

Jennifer Aniston

Emma Watson

All beautiful people!

Okay, let's direct back to the wedding dinner. I saw a local TV artiste who attended the wedding dinner!

Anyone know the TV artiste in red shirt?

Hehehe...

But most importantly, I FOUND 2 NEW COUSINS!

2 COUSINS!

They are Clarissa and Benjamin!

My other cousins kept telling I've played with Benjamin before when I was young, and that we talk alot. I have no recollection at all, so I presume this is the first time I see them! Besides, they also don't recognise me. Mind you, it's been more than a DECADE!

Clarrisa, Benjamin, James, Jeslyn, Zhao Kiat and Jace.

Clarissa is 14 years old, while Benjamin shares the same age as me. And I heard he's going to Jakarta to do some volunteering work.

Don't you think Clarissa is extremely pretty? Oh my..

I'm convinced that all of us cousins are good-looking people, especially the girls.

Sigh I wonder what's wrong with me, but I feel weird, terrible and emotional after looking at the photo several times.

Is it due to the fact that we haven't seen each other for more than a decade? I've got other cousins whom I see annually.

Why am I feeling like that? Why is it that we cousins are related yet so far apart, so much so that we didn't see each for more than a decade? We didn't talk much just now and don't have each other's contacts, so does that mean that we will rarely see each other again?

More than a decade again? I thought that the least thing was to see each other monthly or something.

Will we walk past each other like strangers if we bump into each other? I really don't know. 3 cousins more, including Junjie from Shanghai.

I really hate it when my mind starts to think deep into life.

But still, I hope that all of us cousins can meet up at least a few months or something. It's not like we have age gap or something. We're ALL YOUNGSTERS! Will anyone even understand what I mean?

Don't feel like continuing to blog though there're many more things to talk about..

Sigh.. Let me end this post with this wonderful picture:

Getting better..

Oh gosh, the temperature managed to shoot up to 39.5 C the other day, and I thought that if it gets any higher, I'm going straight to the hospital. That night was unbearable. I never felt so weak in my life, swallowing saliva was like swallowing sea urchins and the shitty thing is being as hot as a pancake.

The doctor told me I had a serious throat infection. (HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SING?) And it caused my fever.

Should I mention that I have no appetite until now as I'm writing this? I could have eaten NOTHING FOR 2 DAYS STRAIGHT if not for the fact that I have to consume my pills after full meals.

And guys, the death note is not a joke. It wasn't even meant to be funny. Each and every single word is written (impromptu) as if I was in the brink of death. When I finish my website, I'll do my official death note, and provide you logic and analogies why I write it. Let's just say I'm befriending reality.



Thanks for concern guys, I'm feeling pretty much handsome now but still kinda weak.

This post is written in a hurry.

OK guys, listen up. I've read a newspaper report last time and it says that a teenage boy had a very high fever and he went to sleep. He NEVER WOKE UP.

That's right, my body temperature is extremely high; 39.1 C. I'm feeling hot, having a headache and a sore throat right now. I feel so weary and tired, I don't have much energy.


On a serious note, just in case I cannot wake up, I wanna write an impromptu death note. (TOUCH WOOD X 100times) Oh my, I should add on that I saw a black dog or something under my void deck. Is this an omen or something?



DEATH NOTE

First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone here for visiting, and hope you find a joy reading my blog.

And friends, if there's anything negative about me, please forgive and forget. I love and treasure each and everyone of you, and it extends to colleagues, teachers, primary, seconday, junior college, polytechnic students, acquaintances and people who I've met in my life.


I love my family ALOT and most importantly, my mom. And dear brother, PLEASE STUDY HARD. Each and every step we make has an impact on our future.



LASTLY, I hope no one shuts off this blog. This blog is part of my heart. My heart pumps blood into this blog. It's my life. And should I be gone, this blog MUST NOT DIE DOWN.



I love everyone.






P.S: I will see a doctor tomorrow.

I wanna sing!

My polytechnic friend Ee Keng asked me this question once, after hearing me sing countless times. "James, have you ever thought of becoming a singer?"


I forgot what I replied to her. But anyway I shall answer this question here. Yes, I've thought of being one before, but the passion is not as strong as scuba diving.


But I still love to sing. Even though people tell me how horrible my voice is, it didn't affect me much.


I still sing whenever I feel like. Singing in the bathroom, singing while blogging, singing while working, singing while studying, singing while travelling; simply singing anywhere and anytime.


One of the most common questions I've been asked is why don't I join singing competitions like Campus Superstar, Singapore Idol etc. My response? I don't wanna be made a laughing stock.

You know, if you sing terribly, the media have ways to you a laughing stock.


I'm still hoping if any professional vocal trainers could coach me for free. I wanna learn how to sing, though I've known the main techniques of singing through Choir.

Anyway, I got so inspired by one of my favourite bloggers, I WANT TO SING! After I figure out how to use one particular program, I gonna record some of my favourite songs.




Now who's interested to hear them?

Miss diving..

I haven't been going to diving for months. Wait till I get a job, save money, and go to Malaysia, Indonesia or Maldives to dive! I still miss Pulau Dayang's one particular night. It was the only moment I wished that time would stopped for eternity, because it was the most beautiful night I've ever seen.


Speaking of diving, did I tell anyone that I sometimes have a fear of deep sea water? Well, being a very poor swimmer, I have this fear of going into deep water, especially when your feet cannot touch the sandbed. Perhaps I've got weak legs that can't carry me. Plus hearing stories that currents underneath will pull you down didn't help either.


I prefer to be at the shallow water rather than swimming in the sea. It kinda freaks me out.

Perhaps I should take swimming lessons again? Hmm..


But I still like diving nonetheless!

Fishing!

Wow, the group of us decided to try out fishing at some ponds where we have to pay for them. Main reason? At least we know that the fishes caught are edible like sea bass, groupers etc, unlike those caught at East Coast jetty etc.

So we tried fishing there. It was a first-time experience.

We started fishing from 3pm to like 1am. We could have fished till 7am, but I couldn't stay overnight.

Han Wen caught a sea bass, and I caught some fish which I only know is edible.

Han Wen's big sea bass.

Jeremy's got a broken rod.

Well, Jeremy got a big and powerful fish hooked onto his line, but he was so anxious, and he kept pulling, and within like 20 seconds, the whole line snapped, the hook, bait, and the weight just gone down into the pond. It was probably the main reason why the rod was broken.

Though we didn't catch alot of fishes, I'm sure we will next time!

With the caught japanese fishes.

Speaking of japanese fishes, we decided to release them because it was too common, though it is edible and the cooking method was to fried it.

Anglers with the bigger fishes.

Well, all of us are armed with more experience than before!

Love will never die (Part 1)

I firmly believe that even when the world is destroyed, with the extinction of all species, what will forever exist is love and music.







A few days ago, I was crossing the road when I saw an old couple, probably around 70-80 years old. It warmed my heart when I saw them holding hands; as in interlocking fingers. It was a wonderful moment.












These people are the ones who understand love more than anyone else; especially when you consider that these people in their era when they were young, chances are they were probably got together by match-makers.








For single people like me, I can only watch in envy when people, animals and fishes shows their affectionate of love. That's why I gets very emotional when listening to certain songs.






I sometimes dream of hugging my dream girl tightly when I faces stress and all the shitty things in life.





But love doesn't come easily for me, simply because I'm not the type that experiment relationship to see if it can work out or not.







Ahhh, but anyway, like I said love and music will exist forever. And to those loving couples out there, do cherish one another.









I hereby dedicate this japanese love song called Can You Celebrate by Namie Amuro to all the lovely couples out there. This song is the only song I like in J-Pop, and it's one of the best compositions in my opinion. It holds a special place in my heart and I would like to share it. This song is one decade old, and I sincerely wish that all couples' relationship are at least one decade old, if not several.




Go on, try listening to it.


It is located at the second post.





If you like it, this is the video of her performance.

Love will never die (Part 2)

Namie Amuro's Can You Celebrate?

Time is flying. Hastily.

Wow, in a blink of an eye, it's June. Smack right in the middle of the year, with 6 more months to 2008.





Time is flying so fast, and I like that. I want to grow up as fast as possible, go to National Service, work, and get out of Singapore.





Don't know why I still have this thought. People say it's best to enjoy life while young. It's true. Because when you grow up, responsibilities are much heavier, and alot more is expected of you because you are an adult.



But think of something. An adult have the ability to do what he/she wants. I want to lead and control my own life. Not some education system which can determine your fate if you pass with flying colours or do badly in your exams.



That's reality for you and me. But I'm sure we can do something about it. We should never bow to boundaries if we want to pursue our dreams. Choices are ours to make, I'm sure.




Oh my, I start to sound like a motivational speaker. Oh my..

I've changed.

I've changed. Or that's what my mind tells my soul. As I grow, especially to the age of 18, I start to be more outspoken, bold and daring.

I used to not talk to my dad, afraid of him that he would scold or shout at me. But now, I find that I could express my opinion and oppose his views, and not afraid of him shouting at me or something, and even to the extent that I dare to quarrel with him.

I used to ask my mum for permission to wherever I go to. But now, I just inform her where I'm going to, and no longer ask her for permission.

I used to be quieter, an introvert and doesn't like to talk. As secondary school days pass, and now polytechnic life, I totally changed to the opposite. I seem to be the fun guy in the class, joking with everyone. Do I like that? I really don't think so.

Why are all these things happening? Is it natural? I really don't have an answer. But I find one thing positive among them all.

That thing is that at least I realise I've changed. And that I didn't change to become a gangster, a hooligan and even being one of the dregs in the society. For this, I console myself.

Deep inside me, I want to be involved in musicals, be a gentleman and be a refined person. And I believe I can be one.

One of my classmates called me a mummy's boy. I felt really happy about it, because it constantly reminds me of my original personality. And I dare say I'm proud of it.

No matter how much I've changed, my original personality will forever stay in me. I still dislike clubbing and those kind of areas. They still make me feel uncomfortable.

I hope I still stay the same.

So what am I supposed to feel right now?

My feelings right now are indescribable. Well, got back the results of the assessment of my drawings, and as expected, I got a provisional pass, together with the other 5 people I think.

And what does a provisional pass means?


"YOU MAY FAIL ANYTIME."



Sigh, I always hate this kind of comments that keeps people in suspense. It really irritates me, and that's because I put quite alot of effort.


The lecturer spoke to me 1 on 1, and told me I was a special case, and I was probably the 4 or 5 people AMONG 200 PEOPLE TO HAVE A DRAWING PROBLEM CASE. I suddenly thought I was suffering from some rare medical condition or something. I have a drawing/learning problem as he said.


I'm already trying very hard. But being labelled as "you may fail anytime", and "you're a special case like 4 or 5 amongst a few hundred people" sucks BIG TIME.


Disclaimer:

No offense to anyone, not even the lecturer.

Busy week..

It's going to be the last week before the 2 week break, and I am looking forward to it. It's high time I have a well-deserved rest.


Will have my assessment day tomorrow where my lecturer will mark all my drawing work. I'm hoping I will not fail. Sigh.. think I'm going to be very busy this week!

Trivial stuff...

Went to queued up for S.H.E's limited edition free gifts with 2 of my friends. And I tell you, it should start at 7pm, but we only got our stuff at 9pm. And the worst thing about the free gift is that you can choose only one. Either Selina, Hebe or Ella. Why not give the 3 of them? If you give just one, are you trying to prove which member is more popular, or are you trying to attract fans to buy 2 more albums to collect them all?

Sucked. But anyway, I took Selina's, while Jeremy and Khai Theng took Hebe. I think it's still worth it.

In school, I was playing with Rebecca's and Cheryl's shades.. And here are some pictures:

They said I looked like a bouncer..

With Tyron.

With Cheryl.

I'm feeling like a fish out of water..

The next big drinks.

Being design students, we have to look out for commercials, and look out for their layout. The most recent one was about Singapore ads. And this particular drink swarmed the whole of Singapore with its interesting poster.

I hereby introduce you the next big drinks.

"Anything"

and

"Whatever"

These 2 drinks are probably the most interesting names you can find off the supermarket shelves, and their advertisement certainly.

Do check out the website to see their ads and tv commercial. It's really interesting and definitely out of the box.

REVIEW

I tried the 2 drinks today, and I must say that I'm pretty impressed with the taste of "Whatever". "Whatever" is a non-carbonated drink, and it somehow tasted like peach tea and some other stuff which I couldn't make out of. It definitely tasted good and I think it is a must-try for all.

RATING: 8/10

As for "Anything" which is the carbonated drink, I thought the taste was okay, nothing special, and it tasted like 7-Up. I might be wrong, because I only drank one can.

RATING: 6.5/10

I don't think it's still available in most of the stores yet, but I'm sure you can buy them at all leading supermarkets. I think it's worth a try.

The price is just Anything like other carbonated can drinks, Whatever that means.

Put 3 female sharks in a tank and what do you get?

Or more specifically, put 3 FEMALE hammerhead sharks in a tank for 3 years and what do you get?



A BABY SHARK.

Make no mistake about it, IT IS A BABY SHARK.

The sharks were living in an aquarium at Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo which is in the United States.

It sparked off confusion, and there were different theories to why a baby shark was born when there were 3 females in the tank and no males were present. Mind you, they were sexually-immature babies when they were caught.

In the end, DNA was used and they found out that the baby shark which had been born only had half of the mother's genes, but no fathers'.

Researchers believe that the phenomenon is what known as asexual production in cartilaginous fish.

Unfortunately, the baby hammerhead shark died because another fish killed it.


For more information, do check it out.