Soon, it's going to be a year, the rite of passage which every Singaporean man has to go through. Reflecting back, I missed my section, with the hardship that we endured for months. I've met some amazing people and I'm thankful for that.
The training changed my physique drastically, and I've always thought of the times we helped each other with the physical training, and the shit we suffered.
Now that I'm in a different place, I no longer endure such trainings anymore. I don't have a buddy. I no longer know what's brotherhood. Camaraderie? Teamwork? These words are not in my dictionary for this phase of my life.
What I've learnt, is the brutal way of life: escaping responsibilities, shooting "arrows", superiority etc. I've become selfish.
I used to be altruistic, but what I realise is that people trample on you when they see your kindness. I used to help people, but all I got was scoldings and lectures from the other party who didn't get their facts right when it isn't my fault at all.
I became angry angsty, and got irritated easily. I begin to adopt a defensive personality which carries on to this day. I want to be true to myself, but sometimes, you learn the hard way and you have to adapt to circumstances.
Fuck this, how I wish it's next year, because I'm tired of everyone here.
Friday, May 13, 2011
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