Do you know enjoy what you're doing? Food for thought.

I've already thought of writing this post for quite some time. And here goes..






When we were young, teachers will ask what we want to be when we grow up.





















(taken from www.libertyparks.org)














Some of us wants to be a teacher. Some of us wants to be a fireman. Others want to be an astronaut, so on and so forth.



But think about this. Have any kid told you that he/she wants to be a retail executive, managing director, marketing executive, or some other occupations?









But when kids grow up to become adults, their mentality changes, and so does their choice of occupation.



Let's be realistic. Who actually does get their choice of occupation? Handful.



Go to any school and ask any of the teachers. Ask any of them why they became a teacher, and chances are that they will tell you to earn a living. Only a few will tell you teaching is their passion.





Do urban people have any life? And when I mean life, I mean enjoy what you doing.




Seriously, when we were young, we were forced to go to school. Notice that I use the word forced, because going to school is compulsory in Singapore.





The period of time when going to school start from young.



During school



And so, we have to follow a routine.



Wakes up at 6am. Prepare.



Assembly at 7.30am



Study and study until 2pm. EVERY SINGLE DAY.













The period when going to work starting from teenage years to adult.




During work (Assuming you work in a CBD area, and in offices.)






Wake up at 6am, dress neatly with perfumes.



Catch the train to CBD area and start work at 9am.


Finish work at 5pm.



EVERY SINGLE DAY.














Allow me to quote an OCBC commercial that I've seen.



The caption wrote:









"9-5, till I'm 95?"



It means that working 9am to 5pm, till he's 95 years old?



So people, the point in my post is, what meaning is there in life when you have to follow a routine for the rest of your life?





Everyday when I head for work, I always had to squeeze the train with hundreds of working adults where they dress in office suits.



If you're talking about money, saying you want to earn alot of money. Let me tell you something. Tomorrow is a mystery. We will never know whether we may die tomorrow or not.






I've read a book and the old man says that: Some of my friends worked so hard to earn so much money but never got a chance to spent it.











Although contradicting, I don't really have a life currently:


Wakes up at 8am.


Starts work at 9.30am, finish work at 6.30pm.


Reaches home at 7.30pm or maybe close to 8pm, depending on weather and traffic jams.

Finishes dinner at 9pm. Finish bathing at 9.30pm.


Meets up with friends to play Defense of the Ancients. (DotA)


Finishes at 11.30pm which is around 2 games. And sleeps.


And it's the next day.





So I'm following a routine.













I wrote this post because I want people to think, and not to target any profession or others.

It also serves as a reminder to my school friends to choose their course carefully in Polytechnic.














Ask yourself this question. Do you want a course that has good prospects in earning good money, or do you want a course that you are enjoy doing and be happy with it?

Do you really understand what it feels?

Some people have expressed concern over my intake of Accutane. Some asked why was I so stupid to take an acne drug that potentially has the ability to take my life, though the chances are below 1%. Others felt that acne is a come-and-go thing, and that it's a matter of time before it clears up.


Allow me to explain.

About my stupidity in taking Accutane

There are a few reasons why I decided to take Accutane.

1. I've tried other antibiotics but the effect was minimal.
2. My acne is worsening.
3. There are visible scars.
4. Desperation.


Please don't question my intelligence. I have understood the side effects of the drug, and I accepted it.

Who doesn't prefer medicines that are safe? I have tried them, and they were not effective towards my skin condition. To add on, my acne is worsening ever since 'O' levels, and there are already scars. That's why it drove my desperation to clear my acne. My doctor recommended Accutane, and after much discussion, I decided to take it.


Acne is a come-and-go thing, why risk your life consuming such a drug?


People has the mentality that teenagers who have acne will not have them again once they grow up. It's wrong. There's something called Adult Acne. Everyone is different, especially with genes and enviroment.

Risk my life? Yes, I admit. But I've carefully thought of this important issue.

Some rhetorical questions:

Do you know that acne has been affecting me for the past 2 years?
Do you know how depressing it is to be the ONLY one who has acne for such a time?
Do you know how I feel when people like to tease on my skin condition?

NO. A BIG NO.

Everytime I perform in school performances and competitions, I'm very self-conscious. Every time there is a big fat bump on my skin, I gets depressed. But in order to be a professional performer, I had to grit my teeth and perform.


Let's talk about clothes. I rarely buy clothes unless my mom wants me to. I mean, what's the point of buying new clothes when my face is reddish, with scars and pimples? During Uncle Ken's wedding, did you know that I didn't felt like buying clothes at Animal in Marina Square because of my acne? But my mom wanted, and I bought for the sake for buying.

So guess what? I decided to gel my hair and sprays perfume sometimes in an attempt to have some self-confidence. It helps sometimes.


If I don't consume Accutane and do something about my acne, scars will be visible and it may be too late even if I went for surgery. And if it is too late, won't I have to see my moon-cratered face everyday? It will be depressing for me, and I may have suicidal thoughts.



Allow me to quote Zoe Tay,


"When you look good, you feel good."


So might as well start now and use Accutane, and do something about it, so that I won't regret next time.



I would like to thank people for their concern, but please do bear in mind that it's my choice. I will have no regrets. I will face whatever side effects that comes. I hope this post will allow you to understand my feelings as it reflects totally how I feel.





In a total irrelevant note, my poor discus has died... Rest in peace.... :(

Uncle Ken's wedding.

It's been a while since I've updated. Been very busy.

Well, yesterday was a day where few events clashed. First, it was Xiao Min's 18th birthday party. Secondly, it was a gathering BBQ. Thirdly, it was Uncle Ken's wedding.

And, of course I need to go to Uncle Ken's wedding. And therefore, I would like to apologise to Xiao Min and the BBQ organisers.


Ah, let's talk about Uncle Ken's wedding.


I had to woke up extremely early to get prepared and went to my grandma's house.


I was extremely upset that at such an important event, I have a big bump at the tip of my nose. How unlucky can that get? But it couldn't overcome my narcississtic behaviour.


Notice the big bump on the tip of my nose.



And worse still, I still need to open the car's door for the bride and bridegroom! DAMN IT!


Finally, the car came..



It's been like 8 years since I've opened a car door for marriages..

Anyway, I went down and open the car door, according to the photographer's instructions. And I had to smile in front of the camera like 4 times!


And the couple came into the house!



Uncle Ken holding Aunt Sherlynn's hand..



The wedding costumes were NICE!



Okay, and it's time to begin the traditional ceremonies.



The deities must be very very happy with the big occasion!


First, they pray to the the Heaven God.



Now it's grandparent's turn!







The kids were bored of course...








And it's Uncle Ken's chalet at night!





Very nice!












Oh my, they look so good! I want to get married and have kids! I saw this particular toddler wearing a Tigger's costume. So cute!



The chalet atmosphere was not very good.. People kept to themselves. But I guess it's normal...




Anyway, hope Uncle Ken and Aunt Sherlynn have everlasting love and a blissful wedding!

Summary of Secondary School Life (2002-2006) (PART 2)

YEAR 2004

CLASS 3N2


Role in class: Secretary


This year was arguably the worst year.

I went to 3N2 this year, because I failed to get A Maths as one of the subjects, and in the end, had to get Design and Technology (D&T), which became a blessing in disguise.

Honestly speaking, I hated 3N2. I was "demoted" from 2N1 to 3N2, and most of my good friends were at 3N1.


3N2 was probably filled with academically less-qualified people, and the thought that made me having to stuck with the class for 3 consecutive years made me bitter.


At this point of life, I made very very good friends in my class: Clarence and Liang Zhi.



Liang Zhi and I.



The 3 of us became very very good friends. However, things happened and the friendship soured. (Don't worry, we're still pretty good friends now.)

And separated...


And as for Choir, it was really a sad time, as it marks the leaving for the Sec 4 seniors as they prepare for 'O' levels.





We missed them so much that some of us cried.



There weren't many much things happening in this year..





YEAR 2005


CLASS 4N2


Role in class: Vice-Chairman


This is the most exciting and fruitful year of em all.



I started off 2005, knewing that this year will determine my future. This year was filled with recalcitrant, obstreperous pupils. Morale in the class was low. Few or some wanted to study.


I had the golden opportunity when I was invited with my Choir peers to join a competition that mimicks the characters in the world's most famous muscial, The Sound of Music.




The Sound Of Music.

If you haven't watched this, you're really missing something. And you won't know what I am talking about.



Maria with the von trapp children.


The North Vista Team consisted of Donovan, Sheena, Petrina, Michelle and me, and Mrs Lim was our teacher-in-charge. We practised the choreography and repeatedly watching the Sound Of Music umpteen times.

We were also required to wear a costume, so we called up one of the costume-makers about what we wanted, and the costumes made were somewhere similar to this:





Of course, the costumes which costs up to a few hundred dollars were fully subsidised.


And we had to wear socks up till our knees.


We competed at Suntec City Wisma Atrium. Representing North Vista Secondary School, we danced and sang Do-Re-Mi.

There were other contestants too, but they were very good. We lost, and the grand prize, which was to go to Germany to see the actual location of where the Sound Of Music was filmed in 1965, was also gone.

And it was a blessing in disguise to me. If we made it to the second round, the date to compete will clash totally with North Vista Chorale's SYF competing date.

In which we will be in a dilemma, because both competitions are happening on the same date!


I have to say that though we lost, it was one of the best experience we've ever had.

The recorded video of us performing is at the General Office I believe. So pupils there may be interested to take a look.




Ah, and it's SYF. This is the second time North Vista Chorale competed in SYF, and we were determined to do even better.

We practised very very hard, and even had a camp.




Kai Bin and I, with the juniors.



Finally, the much-anticipated day came. We sang with gusto, using all the techniques that have been taught, and concentrated fully of the notes, tempo of the piano, and Mr Liew's guidance.


We clinched a high silver. There were 5 international judges, and 2 agreed that we should get gold, while 3 didn't think so. Ah, what a pity.



The beautiful North Vista Chorale.


And for education, I'm proud to say I did well for 'N' levels!




YEAR 2006


CLASS 5N2


Class Position: Vice-Chairman


This year was the quietest but nevertheless a pretty exciting year too.


Let's talk about class. Many people left and enrolled in the Institute of Technical Education (ITE) while others were unschooled.

As a result, there were only 20+ people left in the class. If you think that having fewer people in the class will made everyone do well, if you go into the logic that teachers will pay more attention to us and vice versa, you're SO SO wrong.


The class's atmosphere was dead. Morale was low. Most of the classmates wasn't really interested in studying. People were complacent. Others who barely scraped through 'N' levels thought history would repeat itself in 'O' levels. Many slacked. Only a minority was interested.


And this year marks the 50th birthday of North Vista Secondary School, and being a chorister and part of the Performing Arts, we performed at the University Cultural Centre (UCC) at National University of Singapore (NUS).



Putting on make up for the grand show.




Tenors and Basses.



With the beauties!



And for the grand performance!




Bop to the top, and dance to the beat!



The combined performance with Band.



It was one of the most unforgettable experience in my life.




Then, it was the 'O' levels. Most of the class went into study groups and some studied really hard. Be it studying at Macdonalds till late morning, or at the Sengkang Community Centre, everyone studied seriously.


And now, 'O' levels has finished, and it's holidays for everyone. Some are working to gain experience, while others enrolled in 3 month Junior Colleges (JC).



As for now, I'm waiting for my 'O' level results, and hopefully I will do well...

Summary of Secondary School Life (2002-2006) (PART 1)

This will be the first nostalgic post, I hope that it will be the last time to write a summary for my secondary school life provided I get good results for 'O' levels. Everything I write here contains only to my knowledge.


YEAR 2002

Class 1N1

Role in class: Decoration Leader

I chose North Vista Secondary School and enrolled in with a PSLE aggregrate for 186, entering the Normal Academic Stream in class 1N1.

And with that, the fat/big-sized/horizontally-challenged/huge/humongous James started his secondary school life.

Coincidentally, Ivan and I went into the same class. As we were primary school friends and knew each other, we sat together and talk.


Ivan and I, who is my old friend.


In front of us was a pair of friends named Derrick and Jason Ang, and like us, they were primary school friends and sat together. It was then that one of us decided to break the ice, and talk with them. And just like that, for the next few days, we became good friends.

But it was not meant to be. We realise we have a clash of interests and attitude, and we went separate ways, with Ivan becoming even closer with Derrick, while Jason Ang hang out by himself and I joined a group of friends with Clarence (who later on became my best friend), Jeremy (and also a good friend) and the others.



Clarence and I.



Jeremy and I.


And speaking of Jeremy, he was the guy who nicknamed me Panda. Till this moment, I don't think I bear any resemblance to the endangered animal.


I was the Decoration Leader together with a friend, and I'm proud to say that the class clinched the second price for the Chinese New Year Class Decoration Competition.


And during 2002, I joined Choir. When I went to the Co-Curricular Activities (CCA) fair, I was interested in Volleyball. I decided not to join the sport when one of the senior at the booth said to the other guy: "Don't recruit fat people."

Upon hearing that, I decided that I shouldn't join any sports for fear of my weight. Uniform group doesn't interest me, and the only choice I had was Performing Arts. I was interested in Band, with its musical instruments. But there were 2 practices a day at that time, and as I was lazy, I decided not to sign up. The only other CCA that interest me was Choir, as I loved singing.

It is unfair to say that Volleyball is the sole reason why I joined Choir. I must mention that a significant reason was that a senior, Lynette (she's a gorgeous babe by the way.) pulled my right hand while National Police Cadet Corps (NPCC) senior pulled my left hand, forcing me to their booths. The NPCC senior relented, and I was over to the Choir booth. I underwent trials, and Choir decided to recruit me. And so, I joined Choir.


During the first year, I feared Mr Francis Liew, who was my Choir instructor. He was strict with everything; singing techniques, discipline, conduct, punctuality and attendance.



Mr Liew and I.



Overall, 1N1 is an average class, but the most negative moment was when a new Geography teacher came and teach us, and the class made her cry, so much so that she left the school. I was her favourite student, and I horrified to hear the news. Sigh, perhaps teaching wasn't her cup of tea.




And that was how I started off my secondary school, with more experience and events!



YEAR 2003

Class 2N1

Role in class: Chairman

One hell of an exciting year!

I followed up with this class with the same classmates and a few new ones who joined in.

In the first half of the year, the class made Mrs Chong cried. Later, Mrs Yap taught us. (It was not because the class made Mrs Chong cried that Mrs Yap taught us.)

Mrs Yap offered remedial for me, because she knew I was weak in Maths. She's the best Maths teacher I've ever had.

Mrs Yap and I.


This year, I was linked to a really nice friend called Khai Theng, as the class thought we were compatible as a couple. I denied the allegations that we stead, and it was a fact. There are some other facts which I will not elaborate.




Khai Theng and I.



I was the Chairman of the class, and sometimes getting the class to line up accordingly was difficult, but still managable.



And it was the first time I competed in the Singapore Youth Festival (SYF) for Choir.

We was anxious because it was the first time for North Vista Chorale. When I joined Choir, I've never expected that Choir does compete in competitions. For this competition, we practised very hard in every sectionals, and Mr Liew chose 2 challenging scores, and one of them was called Exultate Deo. (I still know how to sing it!)

And we clinched the Bronze award; not bad for a new Choir!





It was definitely an unforgettable day.



And I had the most memorable birthday this year. Many friends came for my birthday which was organised mainly by Xiao Min and Wei Chong (Thanks alot) and I received lots of presents. It was also the first time I went ice-skating and it was FUN!


I do not have the pictures for this birthday, which was extremely sad.

Overall, 2N2 was one of the most memorable classes I've ever had.



And this is the end of Part 1, which I talk about my Secondary 1 and 2 life, and I'm gonna post Part 2 either tomorrow or a few days time.

I'm officially using Accutane.

I felt the need to blog because there may be some drastic changes in me in physically, mentally and psychologically.

I'm using Accutane, and I'm going to take a big risk. I'm totally sick of the comments, tease and my physically appearance, so I might as well give it a shot.

I asked my doctor today whether taking the pill may be fatal or not, and she said that the chances are very low. Wow, low chance, but there's still a probability.

Accutane is extremely dangerous in a sense, because it can cause birth defects and may cause the death of a baby with a woman takes the pill.

And it also may cause mental problem and suicide.

"Some patients, while taking Accutane or soon after stopping Accutane, have become depressed or developed other serious mental problems. Symptoms of these problems include sad, "anxious" or empty mood, irritability, anger, loss of pleasure or interest in social or sports activities, sleeping too much or too little, changes in weight or appetite, school or work performance going down, or trouble concentrating. Some patients taking Accutane have had thoughts about hurting themselves or putting an end to their own lives (suicidal thoughts). Some people tried to end their own lives. And some people have ended their own lives. There were reports that some of these people did not appear depressed. No one knows if Accutane caused these behaviors or if they would have happened even if the person did not take Accutane."



So guys, if I'm feeling in any way weird, please do be understanding.


I'm hoping that it will clear up in months time... And hope that the side effects will not be serious..

God bless me.. please...

A plea.

It saddens me that people are not blogging, and damn you Clarence, why don't you blog anymore? You're my best friend and though we seldom meet, I would like to know how you've been doing, and the best way is to blog.


And that goes the same to my friends! I need to know how you're doing, with your day in work etc.


MYSELF

Speaking of work, many people have grumbled in their blog about their day at work. As for me, work is not very smooth. I'm getting increasingly irritated over the slightest things such as name-calling etc, NO THANKS to my DAMNED flu/sinus. Everytime it happens, my body gets weak and easily tired. Grrrr...

I am being teased harmlessly almost every day, and most of the time I don't mind it. According to my observations, I think that I get teased often because I'm the youngest or maybe I doesn't retaliate.

As I type this, I realise that I'm going to be 18 this year. I can buy cigarettes. I can buy alcohol. I can go clubbing. I can gamble with the Singapore Pools. I can watch M18 movies. I can learn how to drive a car. I suddenly thought everything is happening too fast. I'm going to be exposed to the adult world sooner than I thought.

Which is why I think that I should defend myself in whatever ways there are. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my colleagues. It's just that I feel I should defend myself whenever I feel I should in a good way.

Too many things are happening; my finance, family's problems, work, nostalgia with school and friends,'O' levels, my body size and my facial skin condition. With so many things throwing at me, can I restore them?

I really need to sit on a deserted spot at the beach alone and quietly. I need to excogitate and straighten out my thoughts.



On this moment, I really want to hug you tightly and hope you were always there for me.

Goodbye 2006. Hello 2007!

Been out for the past few days including today, and I enjoyed alot. Been working, so going out and listening to music is my only escapade.

Sigh, I'm still missing diving, and my dear North Vista Chorale. I want to sing again. I missed the time the Performing Arts performed at the University Cultural Centre (UCC) for the Golden Jubilee Celebrations.


And well, it's the end of 2006, finishing 'O' levels and waiting for results, and it's 2007 now! Until I get back my results, I guess I will just hope to get into Singapore Poly and its SP Diving Club. (No worries, I still LOVE MY CHOIR!) But then again, who knows I may retain.


I have some New Year Resolutions and wishes though.

1. Pass 'O' levels with flying colours.
2. Improve my skin condition greatly.
3. Aim to get 78kg.
4. Look good and feel good! (In other words, handsome! Haha!)
5. If possible, solve my family's financial problem.



I managed to meet up with most of my close friends, and it's great to see them in good shape.


It's back to school for most students in Singapore, and a few of my friends are going to Junior Colleges. So I wish you guys have fun in school and do study hard.


And to Shaun, my dear cousin. Please mark my words. NEVER EVER be a snob. All people are equal, and never ever question one's intelligence. Everyone is different. Being in Normal Academic (NA) stream doesn't mean you can never aim high. And to people who look down on you, prove to them. And please bear this in mind: You've got to differentiate the definition of being an educated person and a learned person.

And since you're stepping to secondary school, please choose your friends wisely. This is the crucial period where you can go from bad to worse, or good to better. And don't get involved in Boy-Girl-Relationship (BGR). These are mainly puppy love and if gets out of hand, it will prove to be a disaster.

The path is yours, Shaun.




And to Mr Malvin Lim, congratulations to your newborn baby son Matthan. (When's the 3rd one coming?) I'm sure you'll make a good father and role model for your sons. And I would like to wish you and Mrs Yap a great year in school this year!



And to my brother, the road is shaky with of wild snakes lurking around. Please study hard. You may pass 'N' levels, but it doesn't mean you can scrape through 'O' levels. Just do your very best and you won't regret.



And last but not least, to everyone I know, please take good care of yourselves and hope for a good year ahead!