Yesterday as I was on my way home with a few friends on the MRT, a blind man alighted together with us at the Dhoby Ghaut station, and started asking who could help him to get to the platform to Punggol.
Nobody responded to him, except for my friend to offered to bring him there.
It was really difficult, because he had to use a walking stick and he needed to "feel" the floor and his surroundings.
After this incident, I feel that I should be contented with myself, and be happy. Guess life is never fair, but we have to make full use of it.
Nickelback's If Everyone Cared is one video you have to watch, because it brings out an extremely strong message:
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Are you my halo?
I'm a guy who actually has crushes easily, and I hate that. But when I find my true love, I'm gonna sing Halo by Beyonce to propose to her.
Previously, the song that I thought I wanted to sing was Touch My Hand by David Archuleta. It's a good song too!
My perfect scenario would be something like this:
My girlfriend and I sits at the Esplanade Outdoor Theatre, as part of the audience. Then, I would say something like: I'm going to get a drink for you.
At the stage is my band, filled with 3 backup singers. Then, the music starts, and I'll sing Halo to her.
There'll be a spotlight, probably tungsten yellow lighting to shine at her, indicating that she's my halo.
"Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away"
And I'll say:
Baby, you're my halo.
You're the one that I'll follow.
The one that makes me see tomorrow.
Cheesy or not? I came up with it! Then, she'll broke down to tears and accept my proposal!!
Previously, the song that I thought I wanted to sing was Touch My Hand by David Archuleta. It's a good song too!
PS: Just in case you haven't heard of this song, here's a link:
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Nobody understands how I feel.
Last year during December, I wrote about this post:
http://jameslancer.blogspot.com/2009/12/could-this-be-my-break.html
It talks about my goals as I approach the end of the final semester, before I finally graduate.
I promised myself, that I'm going to strive to work hard from the early semester, and my goal? To get into the Director's List.
Fast forward till today, when I got my results:
Project 5 (Final Project) = B+
Communication Skills = A
Design Seminars= P (Pass)
There was no Director's List, and to be real honest, I was expecting an A.
I had people telling me how impossible it is to do a magazine, but I did it.
I had people coming up to tell me how fantastic Scubazine is, and I had lecturers telling me how good it was.
I had people telling me that Scubazine doesn't lose out to those Scuba Diving magazines out there.
Some lecturers told me it was ambitious to do 72 pages of a magazine. But I managed to do it.
I had lecturers telling me I should be proud of my work after my presentation.
I had lecturers telling me my presentation stood out from the rest.
Some strict lecturers even told me that I did well, lecturers which I never expect them to said something like that.
WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED IN THE END THEN?
You know, ever since my attachment woes, I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WILL DO MY VERY BEST, AND THAT I WANT TO ACHIEVE IT NO MATTER WHAT, TO PROVE TO PEOPLE AS WELL AS TO MYSELF THAT I COULD DO DESIGN.
All those compliments and remarks, IT MADE ME BELIEVED THAT I REALLY MADE MY MARK.
But no, all I get is FULL DISAPPOINTMENT simply because I raised my bar level too high.
I KNOW MY DRAWING SUCKS. I KNOW MY PAINTING IS TERRIBLE. AND ALL THESE WHILE IN YEAR ONE, I STRUGGLED. AND I GOT A TERRIBLE GPA OF 2.
BUT WHY IS IT THAT HARD WORK DOESN'T SEEMS TO PAY OFF? I WORKED HARD SINCE YEAR 2, BUT IT NEVER HELPED.
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY BREAK, IT NEVER WAS.
Maybe I wasn't cut to do design. I shouldn't have put in so much effort, because what I exchanged was were disappointment that is currently overwhelming for me to handle.
I'm still in a state choked full of emotions, and I'm a broken man with damaged confidence.
WHERE THE FUCK HAVE I DONE WRONG TO DESERVE ALL OF THESE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://jameslancer.blogspot.com/2009/12/could-this-be-my-break.html
It talks about my goals as I approach the end of the final semester, before I finally graduate.
I promised myself, that I'm going to strive to work hard from the early semester, and my goal? To get into the Director's List.
Fast forward till today, when I got my results:
Project 5 (Final Project) = B+
Communication Skills = A
Design Seminars= P (Pass)
There was no Director's List, and to be real honest, I was expecting an A.
I had people telling me how impossible it is to do a magazine, but I did it.
I had people coming up to tell me how fantastic Scubazine is, and I had lecturers telling me how good it was.
I had people telling me that Scubazine doesn't lose out to those Scuba Diving magazines out there.
Some lecturers told me it was ambitious to do 72 pages of a magazine. But I managed to do it.
I had lecturers telling me I should be proud of my work after my presentation.
I had lecturers telling me my presentation stood out from the rest.
Some strict lecturers even told me that I did well, lecturers which I never expect them to said something like that.
WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED IN THE END THEN?
You know, ever since my attachment woes, I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WILL DO MY VERY BEST, AND THAT I WANT TO ACHIEVE IT NO MATTER WHAT, TO PROVE TO PEOPLE AS WELL AS TO MYSELF THAT I COULD DO DESIGN.
All those compliments and remarks, IT MADE ME BELIEVED THAT I REALLY MADE MY MARK.
But no, all I get is FULL DISAPPOINTMENT simply because I raised my bar level too high.
I KNOW MY DRAWING SUCKS. I KNOW MY PAINTING IS TERRIBLE. AND ALL THESE WHILE IN YEAR ONE, I STRUGGLED. AND I GOT A TERRIBLE GPA OF 2.
BUT WHY IS IT THAT HARD WORK DOESN'T SEEMS TO PAY OFF? I WORKED HARD SINCE YEAR 2, BUT IT NEVER HELPED.
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY BREAK, IT NEVER WAS.
Maybe I wasn't cut to do design. I shouldn't have put in so much effort, because what I exchanged was were disappointment that is currently overwhelming for me to handle.
I'm still in a state choked full of emotions, and I'm a broken man with damaged confidence.
WHERE THE FUCK HAVE I DONE WRONG TO DESERVE ALL OF THESE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, March 22, 2010
What's your definiton of success?
As I slowly approach the age of 21, I'm surrounded by people with aspiring dreams, and definitely people who dream of becoming successful.
Most urban people dream of the typical 5Cs - Cash, Card, Condo, Country Club Membership, and Car. Even people I meet, they always tell me their dreams are to earn like $10,000 or $20,000 per month. Money seems to be the main priority, and that's their way of being successful.
Not for me I guess.
Personally, I do not harbour thoughts of all the 5Cs. All I want is to get a job that will never fail to surprise/excite me, and combined with passion and qualities. The pay? I'm aiming for like $5/$6k, unless I'm a businessman myself.
Also, I want to start a family at the age of 29, and find a wonderful wife that I will stay truly devoted to. Ahh, unconditional love..
And people, that's my definition of success. I think it's rather simple, but definitely not over-ambitious.
What's yours?
Most urban people dream of the typical 5Cs - Cash, Card, Condo, Country Club Membership, and Car. Even people I meet, they always tell me their dreams are to earn like $10,000 or $20,000 per month. Money seems to be the main priority, and that's their way of being successful.
Not for me I guess.
Personally, I do not harbour thoughts of all the 5Cs. All I want is to get a job that will never fail to surprise/excite me, and combined with passion and qualities. The pay? I'm aiming for like $5/$6k, unless I'm a businessman myself.
Also, I want to start a family at the age of 29, and find a wonderful wife that I will stay truly devoted to. Ahh, unconditional love..
And people, that's my definition of success. I think it's rather simple, but definitely not over-ambitious.
What's yours?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Cyanide, Cyan Hide.
It's a photo manipulation for a change. And somehow, I feel it represents me.
My world is devoid of colours, except cyan and black.
Black for being mysterious, and cyan, well, for its coolness and calmness. I guess it's a hint of mystery and excitement overall.
I've been listening to a lot of acoustic songs recently, and it helped in the distractions that I've been recently facing. Raining cats and dogs sure helped in the mood, and I couldn't ask for more.
Out of a sudden, I missed Sok Pheap. That gracious smile.
Now, nothing could change what you mean to me.
There's a lot that I could say
But just hold me now,
Cause our love will light the way.
There's a lot that I could say
But just hold me now,
Cause our love will light the way.
Friday, March 19, 2010
If you're working for MLM, you're probably gullible.
Whoa, what a statement. I've been recently approached by an acquaintance, who told me that his friend is opening a shop at Marina Square selling diamonds, and insist I come down to take a look and probably to help him out.
After reaching there, I realise it was all too familiar. Multi-Level-Marketing (MLM), otherwise known as network marketing, referral marketing or pyramid-selling.
I could still remember my first encounter with a MLM company, called the Sunshine Empire, whereby you would be able to see lavish decorations, filled with opulence and decadence in the company.
People as young as 19 years old were wearing suits, and looking smart, with titles given to them as mangers and directors. HECK, some of them even had their own offices.
The person who tried persuading me to buy their products were extremely persistent, but definitely annoying. I was required to pay an amount of $500, which I was promised to earn a lot of money, like $5k per month.
I rejected him ultimately of course.
This time round, I was fooled into going into this MLM company again, and allow me to break down the things he tried enticing me. (WITH MUCH SKEPTICISM)
1. Brought me to this office, showing me his products and that their opening a shop in Marina Square. (Ok, still sounds alright.)
2. Had this lesson attended by 4 people. I nearly fell asleep. The guy was telling about how good the products are, and how it is endorsed by many celebrities.
(Listen, celebrities endorse products for money, and they do not necessarily have to try the products. But I must say that it's a good attempt to show your credibility to some unknowing customers.)
3. Had this publishing claim, which I forgotten what it means, but he said that no other companies would dare to make a claim like that.
(If you dare to make that claim, why would it be so difficult to read? It was like 4 pt size? If that claim was that good, why didn't you make that a selling point and blow it up big?!)
4. Show us lots and lots of newspaper articles and such.
(Newspaper articles show a lot of actual information and promote credibility, but one thing that people tend to forget is that.. THE DATE OF PUBLISHING. Have it ever occurred to you that these articles are dated years back or decades ago, in which the information might not be relevant or accurate now?
5. You can earn 8-9k, $12-$15k a month, and get titles like: Regional Director etc.
My bullshit detector starts working, and one thing that you need to take note is the word: CAN.
You CAN earn such money, but doesn't mean you WILL. Having said that, I do believe a handful or maybe 2 or 3 earns such figures a month, but what about the rest?
They keep insisting that they earn like $9k or $12k, but where's the proof? I don't see you showing me your pay cheque, or neither do you wear shirts from Raoul, A|X, Gucci or whatsoever? It doesn't seem logical that if you earn a 5-figure amount, you would buy clothes from G2000 or CK Departmental Store?
And the titles: Directors, Managers, whatsoever. You can self-proclaim to these titles, but whether people does believe you is another different question.
6. In order to earn like them, first you have to spend like them.
You need to spend 5K on their products, and re-sell them to your friends and relatives, so that within a few months, you can earn like them.
In other words, it's actually: potential exploitation of personal relationships which are used as new sales and recruiting targets.
I could seriously go on and on, but I'll just stop here. Hope this provides you an insight of how they work, and DO NOT BE ENTICED BY THE EXAGGERATION OF THE RICHES!
After reaching there, I realise it was all too familiar. Multi-Level-Marketing (MLM), otherwise known as network marketing, referral marketing or pyramid-selling.
I could still remember my first encounter with a MLM company, called the Sunshine Empire, whereby you would be able to see lavish decorations, filled with opulence and decadence in the company.
People as young as 19 years old were wearing suits, and looking smart, with titles given to them as mangers and directors. HECK, some of them even had their own offices.
The person who tried persuading me to buy their products were extremely persistent, but definitely annoying. I was required to pay an amount of $500, which I was promised to earn a lot of money, like $5k per month.
I rejected him ultimately of course.
This time round, I was fooled into going into this MLM company again, and allow me to break down the things he tried enticing me. (WITH MUCH SKEPTICISM)
1. Brought me to this office, showing me his products and that their opening a shop in Marina Square. (Ok, still sounds alright.)
2. Had this lesson attended by 4 people. I nearly fell asleep. The guy was telling about how good the products are, and how it is endorsed by many celebrities.
(Listen, celebrities endorse products for money, and they do not necessarily have to try the products. But I must say that it's a good attempt to show your credibility to some unknowing customers.)
3. Had this publishing claim, which I forgotten what it means, but he said that no other companies would dare to make a claim like that.
(If you dare to make that claim, why would it be so difficult to read? It was like 4 pt size? If that claim was that good, why didn't you make that a selling point and blow it up big?!)
4. Show us lots and lots of newspaper articles and such.
(Newspaper articles show a lot of actual information and promote credibility, but one thing that people tend to forget is that.. THE DATE OF PUBLISHING. Have it ever occurred to you that these articles are dated years back or decades ago, in which the information might not be relevant or accurate now?
5. You can earn 8-9k, $12-$15k a month, and get titles like: Regional Director etc.
My bullshit detector starts working, and one thing that you need to take note is the word: CAN.
You CAN earn such money, but doesn't mean you WILL. Having said that, I do believe a handful or maybe 2 or 3 earns such figures a month, but what about the rest?
They keep insisting that they earn like $9k or $12k, but where's the proof? I don't see you showing me your pay cheque, or neither do you wear shirts from Raoul, A|X, Gucci or whatsoever? It doesn't seem logical that if you earn a 5-figure amount, you would buy clothes from G2000 or CK Departmental Store?
And the titles: Directors, Managers, whatsoever. You can self-proclaim to these titles, but whether people does believe you is another different question.
6. In order to earn like them, first you have to spend like them.
You need to spend 5K on their products, and re-sell them to your friends and relatives, so that within a few months, you can earn like them.
In other words, it's actually: potential exploitation of personal relationships which are used as new sales and recruiting targets.
I could seriously go on and on, but I'll just stop here. Hope this provides you an insight of how they work, and DO NOT BE ENTICED BY THE EXAGGERATION OF THE RICHES!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
What is wrong with me?
As of now, I'm suffering some sort of a mood swing. I'm suddenly feeling so emotional and sad, do allow me to blabber and just treat it as nonsensical talk.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and I realise that some wounds can never be healed. I simply cannot let any single one touch my face. I can't imagine if my girlfriend squeezes me on my cheeks, because I'll feel terrified as I feel it's dirty.
I know I'm being insecure deep inside my heart, but I just cannot help it. I've been trying to change my sense of dressing with some success, and that's because I've been trying to look for love. One of my lecturers say people at my age gets real emotional and faces identity crisis. Guess that's true.
Sometimes I feel I don't belong to this world that I live in, and I feel so pressurized and breathless because of the suffocation of the boundaries that I face.
I'm eccentric, weird and anything that you can call me.
Guess I need to be alone for a while.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and I realise that some wounds can never be healed. I simply cannot let any single one touch my face. I can't imagine if my girlfriend squeezes me on my cheeks, because I'll feel terrified as I feel it's dirty.
I know I'm being insecure deep inside my heart, but I just cannot help it. I've been trying to change my sense of dressing with some success, and that's because I've been trying to look for love. One of my lecturers say people at my age gets real emotional and faces identity crisis. Guess that's true.
Sometimes I feel I don't belong to this world that I live in, and I feel so pressurized and breathless because of the suffocation of the boundaries that I face.
I'm eccentric, weird and anything that you can call me.
Guess I need to be alone for a while.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Speechless.
Sometimes, it's not because I'm speechless.
Nor am I in a loss for words.
It's because some things are better left unsaid.
Nor am I in a loss for words.
It's because some things are better left unsaid.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
UNIT 10 GRADUATION SHOW.
Hi guys, should you be free between today to this Saturday, do come down and support my graduation show!
It's at Nanyang Polytechnic's Auditorium!
It's at Nanyang Polytechnic's Auditorium!
Do come down! Thanks!!
Monday, March 08, 2010
My grandfather is a hero.
Sometimes I feel like faltering when I bump into an obstacle, or when I get emotional at times. It's sad to say that I'm mentally weak.
That's a stark contrast compared to my maternal grandfather, who's been through so much hardship. I went to visit him at Singapore General Hospital (SGH) today, and he was admitted into the hospital because he had testicle cancer. Tumours were detected on his testicles and his testicles had to be removed.
I'm shocked. When a man loses his testicles, that's equivalent to a woman losing her breasts. It's a major sacrifice, because it's do or die. And I salute him for that.
I'm also proud to say that he survived colon cancer as well.
I feel so ashamed of myself, and I promise that I will live meaningfully and be happy every day.
Grandpa, you're my hero! :)
That's a stark contrast compared to my maternal grandfather, who's been through so much hardship. I went to visit him at Singapore General Hospital (SGH) today, and he was admitted into the hospital because he had testicle cancer. Tumours were detected on his testicles and his testicles had to be removed.
I'm shocked. When a man loses his testicles, that's equivalent to a woman losing her breasts. It's a major sacrifice, because it's do or die. And I salute him for that.
I'm also proud to say that he survived colon cancer as well.
I feel so ashamed of myself, and I promise that I will live meaningfully and be happy every day.
Grandpa, you're my hero! :)
Thursday, March 04, 2010
NAPFA Test
Did my NAPFA test, (a fitness test that is compulsory for every male Singapore citizen)
and I was pretty happy with the result. I'm not someone who excels in sports excellence and I'm satisfied that I could pass my Sit & Reach, Sit Up and Shuttle Run.
I'm already getting prepared to be trained and enlist one month earlier.
Those muscles aches are coming, and I can almost feel it.
and I was pretty happy with the result. I'm not someone who excels in sports excellence and I'm satisfied that I could pass my Sit & Reach, Sit Up and Shuttle Run.
I'm already getting prepared to be trained and enlist one month earlier.
Those muscles aches are coming, and I can almost feel it.
Monday, March 01, 2010
Wonderful Night..
I was invited by my company for its D&D (Dinner & Dance) dinner at Kbox E hub! at Downtown East. It was great to see some of the familiar colleagues at the party.
That night was awesome, because I won a set of canned abalone, sharks fin and another weird-looking stuff.
On that night itself, the company organised a singing competition, and I belted out Kelvin Tan's I Love You, and guess what? I won the competition! It was the first time that I won prizes for my singing!
The feeling was damn good I tell you!
Digressing a bit, a lot of events have happened recently, and I didn't think that was too much of a coincidence. God, do you really have things in plan for me?
That night was awesome, because I won a set of canned abalone, sharks fin and another weird-looking stuff.
On that night itself, the company organised a singing competition, and I belted out Kelvin Tan's I Love You, and guess what? I won the competition! It was the first time that I won prizes for my singing!
The feeling was damn good I tell you!
Digressing a bit, a lot of events have happened recently, and I didn't think that was too much of a coincidence. God, do you really have things in plan for me?
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