Unexplainable.

I'm surprised. We're going to have air-conditioned room (IT Room 2) for us because we're one of the graduating classes. I'm impressed by the attempt of the school to help us do well for 'O' levels; by providing air-conditioned rooms for us. This is going to be bad news for me though, as my sinus is probably going to act up anytime.

And thanks to people who did not take their books today, they asked me to take the keys tomorrow. (Damn them.)

And I'm appreciating the effort of Mr Tay and Mdm Lim from the D&T department. I was asking Mr Tay if he could stay back for the night class on friday to let us do our practical and folio, because we need to rush them and it was usual practice for us when we did our 'N' levels.

He agreed to stay back till 8pm. What was surprising was his answer, because I didn't really expect him to agree and he did. He wasn't our subject teacher yet he helped us by sacrificing his free time. I salute you, Mr Tay.

And Mdm Lim, who was kind enough to offer help to us whenever we need them, again, though we weren't her students. She even offered to share us her workshop session with her 4N class. She was nice.

While all these are happening from the D&T, it is, ironically that Mr Tsung who is our subject teacher now doesn't even do such things. Maybe we can't blame him; he underwent a neck surgery and rested for months (That's when Mr Joseph Goh came in.)

We D&T students are extremely unlucky this year. I would wish that only one teacher will take us for the whole year, but it was 2 teachers. And I think we're at risk. So we're going to stay back and do our important work.

On a total different note, my mum was speaking to me just now while I was doing my D&T. She said she could give me tuition if she had the money. And she says she may get one for me, sooner or later. As tuition for me is mainly Maths, my mind suddenly thought of Zi Cai and Mrs Yap. Sigh, as I express my feelings, I suddenly feel depressed and sad now. I can't explain why. Maybe I let them down.

I then thought of my relatives who are taking 'O' levels with me this year. My 2 biological cousins; Shermaine and Eunice (I think) come from prestigious schools. I should have graduated by now, but since I'm in the NA stream, I'm taking it with them. And, I suddenly feel so stupid. Both of them have no problems going to JCs, and I'm probably the one struggling. I ask myself questions..


"Why am I feeling stupid?"


"Why am I like this?"




And as I'm typing, I'm crying. I seriously cannot explain. I can't control my emotions. I guess I'm already under alot of stress, plus some classmates called me names which I extremely pissed off.

I feel I'm being bombarded with so many things. I feel I'm having alot of responsibilities. (both mentally and physically) I feel may break down soon.




To my classmates who're reading this blog, the cheerful James isn't what he always is, because beneath the expression lies a troubled mind which the soul cannot even decipher.

Another trip to Sim Lim Tower.

Ah, went to Sim Lim Tower to buy some electronics stuff with Jun Ping, Han Wen and Jeremy. That's because I lost the electronics..

Sigh, how forgetful.. Han Wen went there to buy an external hard disk thing, which costs around $130+ at Sim Lim Square.

After buying, we made an impromptu decision to go and watch a movie as we were pretty undecided yesterday. Jia Yi went along too.

We went to Tampines Mall, not only to watch a movie but also to accompany Jun Ping to fix his N70 Nokia Phone, which was faulty. When we reached there, Jia Yi got excited when she saw a stand showing a Taiwanese singer, Tank who was there for his autograph session. And we accompanied her.

It was totally pure coincidence that I brought my camera. (I wanted to do research for my D&T and didn't expect an autograph session.)

We went to the 4th floor, and sad to say there weren't as many fans as we thought.

I wasn't a fan of Tank although I liked some of his songs, but Jia Yi kept pestering me to take pictures of him.



Tank singing to his fans..





And of course the autograph session..





Smiling and shaking the hands of a fan.



And a few more..






While Jeremy asked me to take pictures of the host. (she's a Yes 93.3 DJ)Perhaps he's lusting for her?

Here's one of her picture that I took:


She's quite cute, and dresses like Rainie Yang.




After watching the session, we went to Toys R Us to do some research.. After that we went to watch Silent Hill, the movie. What an incredible movie. It's not really horror, but gore and violence. The plot was perfect. But some parts, I can't really understand. The graphics were good, and the characters weren't your typical ghosts. Overall, a rating of 7.5/10 for it; the ending was not very good.


Ah, it's a very tired day.. But pretty nice!

I just wanna say..

Just wanna say something. Thank you Angie. Everytime I expressed my feelings on the blog, especially worrying ones, you would sent me an email to ask me how was I doing and gave me useful advice. I really heeded it. Thanks alot!

And sigh, 2 friends who were once pretty close to me, changed alot. Lord knows what's thinking in them. One of them were once my most respected person in the class, but no longer anymore. The other girl, whose attitude totally changed; she used to be quiet and bubbly. But now she's rude and defiant towards teachers.

Speaking of teachers, during the whole Compulsory Remedial Lesson (CRL), there was this particular teacher who did not even come for the 1st and last week of the June holidays. During the first week, he (he asked a relief teacher to give us a test and not him, mind you.) gave us a test and claimed that he will go through during the 4th week. Bullshit. We were informed that there weren't any lesson yesterday. And he's the only teacher amongst the teachers who taught us that didn't came. Before the Mid-Year exams, he told us about having remedials. And in the end, he kept on cancelling and cancelling until there's only once. My friend told me that during the last week before Mid-Year exams, he gave remedial to his Express class and not us. Oh, may I say he's having "stream discrimination"? Sigh, I don't think I can rely on him to help me score for 'O' levels. I could still remember I prepared notes for myself during the 'N' levels when he was teaching us.

What sort of teacher is he? I've totally no clue.

Whole lot of angst and worries to be released.

I've visited the doctor yesterday, and it was good news. My acne-prone skin has been stabilised and the doctor was wondering if I need any more antibiotics. She decided to gave me another 1 month of the oral medicine but this time, I will take the pill once every 2 days. And if everything goes well, I will just need to apply some sort of medicine on my face. And if I have the money, I will go for Microdermabrasion. This procedure will make my scars be less visible and may go away, and it costs around $80+ per session. And I need more than 6 sessions to see visible results. Need money then.

I have been pretty depressed because some people remarked that I have so many scars. People who poked fun of me who said I have holes and said I was scary. One girl even said my face has been shot at many times with a gun. The person that I can only tolerate is Jun Ping, because we both insult each other innocuously without being mindful. But others which I don't insult even insulted me. And for god's sake stop telling people that you can't take jokes and whatsoever because dipshits only say these things when they know they're in the wrong and tried to cover themselves using this despicable method.

Another thing I hate is when people compare my brother and me. We brothers are pretty famous in school; I have people walking up to me asking if I'm his brother, and I have friends asking him if I am his brother. Teachers also did the same thing. But what is so irritating is that people say that I'm in Choir and he is in Basketball. This means that I'm not active while he is active. People not only compare our activeness but also our physical appearance such as face and body size. The worst comparison? Our looks. A friend even told me that his friend said that I looked uglier than my brother. So what is your god-damned problem? Think about it. Would you like it if I compare you and your siblings while in the same school? Damned dickheads. My brother and I have totally different personalities and I will leave it as that.

And another thing is what Janna had told me "Be selfish, please!" Ever since today's D&T trip, I will decided to make it a point that people will call and ask me if there's anything and not me doing that. (I don't have free incoming calls.) I wouldn't care about them anymore. I guess the only person who appreciates what I do is only Jia Yi. I will probably call Justin, Jun Ping and Jia Yi because these people are the only ones who attends what I organised. I will be indifferent to the others.

(I wish to apologise to Mr William Goh because some of the organised sessions clashed with his non-complusory self-study lessons. It was pathetic enough not to have a single person coming when he organised such lessons.)

Speaking of which, Justin and Jun Ping were celebrating Father's Day for their fathers and grandfathers and had to leave. I guess I'm the only one who doesn't celebrates the day. I'm not very close to my father, and my paternal grandfather has already been dead. I'm extremely close to my mother but not to my Dad. He used to work till wee hours and probably doesn't care much about us. So I'm not close to him and doesn't seem to have any common topic with him. I don't buy Father's Day present for him and finds it weird to do so.

To Joey from USA: Hey buddy, you're already into fatherhood. Don't just keep working and build a healthy relationship with your daughter. If not your daughter will end up just like me. Okay? :)



And also, I love the song Reaching Beyond for SYF 2006! It's nice!



Ah after typing these paragraphs, I feel better now.

Finally a day's rest.

For this whole month's holiday, I decided to give myself a day's rest. And it's totally rest! Listen to lots of songs and was in my own escapade..

My previous post sparked some comments, but I guess that's what I really felt. If they don't appreciate, I wouldn't care much of them.


Also, I hope that by the end of June holidays, I can finally upload my blog template!



Today was enjoyable. :)

I had enough of you guys.

I had enough of my fellow D&T students. I sometimes think why am I the one organising dates and time to come back and do our 'O' levels artefact and folio. Why am I the one leading?

None of them appreciates for what I've done. I was so worried for all of us because Mr Joseph Goh has left us and handed the baton to Mr Tsung as he was just a relief teacher. Much to my surprise, Mr Tsung did not came back to help us, leaving us in the lurch. So I called Mr Goh, telling him our situation. And last Friday, he made a special trip to come and help us.

When I organised trips to school to do projects, the girls even grumbled and asked me to change the time. And they had the cheek not to come when the day arrives. Do you know how pissed off I am regardless of whatever reasons/excuses they gave?

Take yesterday's trip for example. We met up at 1pm at Compass Point to go to Sim Lim Tower to buy materials for our artefacts.

I had the girls late because one of them assume this and that, and the other one was having tuition. Another one was late too. But the most INFURIATING thing was that another 2 guys were extremely late. I was already at Compass Point, and both of them called and said they just woke up etc, and asked us to wait for them. And when they came, they talked as if it wasn't their fault. They were late because they watched the World Cup. One don't even know we had a trip and needed someone to remind him. Perhaps they were too poor to buy an alarm clock. Or perhaps they did not even have the MINIMAL discipline to wake up. Lord knows what is going on in their minds.


I'm seriously thinking of coming back to the workshop myself. Why am I doing so much things for these ingrates when they don't even appreciate it? Why am I wasting my handphone bill on such assholes to call them, only to listen craps and rubbishes that comes out from their mouths? It's their 'O' levels. NOT MINE. Why should I even care? Why can't I just be selfish and care for myself?


I seriously had enough. I'm sick of all these people. I'm sick of being nosey. If they want to do badly, let them do whatever shit I care. Screw these people.

Because among the small group of just 7 people, it seems that I'm the only one with the right attitude and mentality. They doesn't seem to know how vital it is, having that NONE of the teachers are helping except for Mdm Lim and the workshop instructors, and that the expectation of the Vice-Principal to ask us to do well.


Can some readers tell me I'm stupid enough to help my friends?
Can some readers tell me that I'm being an idiot because nobody appreciates?
Can some readers tell me why am I organising trips when they don't even come (whatever excuses/reasons they give?)
Can some readers tell me why am I being such nosey because it's their 'O' levels and not mine?
Can some readers tell me why should I burn my handphone bill because of them?
Can some readers tell me to stop HELPING these people?


As I'm typing, I realise that my blood's boiling point is getting lower and lower.





CAN SOMEONE TELL ME? PLEASE?

Do you admit that you're being influenced?

From the time we're born into this world, our hearts were the purest. But as we grow older, our mind and thinking are influenced by our surroundings and most importantly, the media. Be it in advertisements, televisions, posters etc, you will see beautiful women and handsome hunks posing for pictures.

As a result, we see these people as sexy and good-looking..




Britney Spears wearing sexily. Everyone would think she's good-looking and hot.





Paris Hilton posing. Again, people will think she's hot and sexy, including me.





Tom Cruise.





Korean star Rain.




Thanks to the media, we picture our ideal girlfriends and boyfriends to have a body like the actors and actresses above.

"She must have big breasts and an hour glass figure!"


"He must be muscular and have a six-pac body!"


This is probably what most of us wish to have. The media have changed our way of thinking of a human who is good-looking.


If you disagree with me, would you say that these people are good-looking?




Ru Hua, who's famously known for her looks.






An extremely fat guy.



Yes, you laugh at the pictures. You will think that they're disgusting. Everyone thinks the same way. And simply because everyone are being influenced by the media.


Every one should have each of their ideal girlfriend/boyfriend, their ideal looks, their ideal size and most importantly, their inner beauty. Some men marry women with hour-glass figures to flaunt them. While some women will bring their handsome boyfriends and flaunt it to her girlfriends.



So think about it, are you being influenced?

What can I do..

Despite the June holidays, I have to go back to school every single day from 9-5pm. Grr.. And once I reach home, I can't concentrate to study and revise for other subjects. I'm way too tired. I can't persevere.....



Meanwhile, this guy abt jerry STOP YOUR GOD-DAMNED NONSENSE. I know who you are, but my tagboard is a reflection of my posts and other stuff, but DEFINITELY NOT YOUR SOURCE TO DEFAME PEOPLE. HOW INSENSITIVE CAN YOU GET?

You'll never know how good-looking I am till now.

With my ever-growing ego, look at this picture, which was done by Nurul Janna.

The wonders of Adobe Photoshop. MUAHAHAH.





The caption wrote: "how you ever wonder how zhao lun would look like without pimples w/o eye bags? ahah! =) hope you like it! =)"




Well well, Janna.. I CERTAINLY LOVE IT. Thanks! Often than not, people sees me with pimples or some scars in my face. But I shall assure you that it will heal in a matter of time. People told me if I was slim abit, and good complexion, I'm a good-looking guy. So I'm dreaming that some Extreme-Makeover producer would come and find me. Or even the male version of The Swan. Haha! But the doctor had told me, I had to cure my acne first before other things because my antibiotics requires me to eat food before eating it. Perhaps 5 years down the road, you will see a different James?

Very very busy in the June Holidays.

I will be extremely busy during the June Holidays. And take note of the word EXTREMELY.

I've taken my 'O' levels Mother Tongue Paper, and hopefully I will do well. And during the June Holidays, I have to come back to school with my fellow D&T classmates to rush our folio and artefact. There's so much to do. And I started practising Maths and revising subjects so it is a hell lot of work.

Also, something's worrying me. I can only put 1 or 2 pictures in my new blog template because I need to consider people's 15-inch PC. Previously, my old blog template was done using a 19-inch PC and it looked SO MUCH LARGER in a 15-inch computer screen. Again, my blog's background colour will be in black. And when the new template is ready (as soon as possible), I hope readers will get a feeling of both a mystic and dark feeling. That's what I want readers to feel, hopefully. I have a poor taste of mixing colours, so do give some constructive comments when it is being loaded.

Busy, busy busy.....



Oh, happy holidays. Duh.