So tired.

These 2 weeks will be ridiculously hectic, and I hope I'll pass all the modules.

I was damn moody and tired since yesterday, because I had alot of work to do, thus had to leave early from the friends gathering.

I seriously do not know what my lecturer wants. I'm so pissed off. My other classmates did 3 paintings for their assignment. He wanted me to do TRIPLE of what they did. 9 paintings altogether, and today he's still not satisfied.

Painting is TIME-WASTING. (Notice I didn't use the word time-consuming.) And I did one painting like 30 minutes to 1 hour.

We had this particular final project which stands 70% of our module. And we had to produce sketches and show it to him.


I draw a sketch of an angel today with shadings and showed it to him.



Our conversation went like this:

Me: Is this good enough?
Lecturer: What do you think?



Obviously he didn't like mine, and flipped through my sketchbook and asked me this ludicrous but offensive question:

"Did you draw all these?"

"Duh."


And he asked me to just produce 12 sketches of portraits of people for the final project. It's like using a regular work and show it to him.

Do you know how terrible I feel? I seem to be the only one who haven't found my niche. And it seemingly tells me that I'm so different from others and that I suck.


I know my good friends are there for me. They offer their listening ears to me. But I just don't want to call them yet. I'm afraid of breaking down after pouring my woes to them which I will never ever wish to do that.


I'm really sick and tired of the bloody routine and deadlines every week.

And most importantly, I'm tired of being here.

S.H.E Celebration Party Concert.

I should be blogging about Fiona Xie and the TV crew coming to Nanyang Polytechnic to find handsome hunks and beautiful ladies. But I figured out S.H.E was more important.


*Smiles sheepishly*

The concert was on last Saturday. Sigh, it clashed with WWE's Smackdown! event in Singapore.



The tickets that cost 9 hours.








It was raining cats and dogs..










S.H.E fans queueing..








Some fans queued up overnight to get the best seats. We went there around 12-1pm and queued for like 7-8 hours.




Everyone getting in..




AND FINALLY, THE MUCH-ANTICIPATED CONCERT STARTS!




Awesome!






I thought the concert was really great, considering that it was free-of-charge. They sang around 10 songs or so, and the concert lasted 1 hour +.




According to S.H.E, Singapore was the only other country that had this celebration party besides in Taiwan. How awesome is that? And we really have to thank Yu Zhong for initiating a concert for Singapore!





In the Mandopop scene, only S.H.E still has autograph sessions and such a concert for Singapore! I guess they really respect the fans. Singapore is a small market, and they still respect us.







S.H.E...














The trio were playing the piano, and Ella admitted to the fans that she played it wrongly. And she wanted to seek our forgiveness. How touching is that?!


The concert is short but good. I was singing along!


I love S.H.E more, but I love SELINA ALOT MORE AFTER THIS CONCERT!


DUDE, if pretty and hot represents a brick, then Selina will be the Great Wall of China!

Am I ready for changes?

I made a promise for the 2 month break.

I hope I would won't break it this time. That is, to cut down my intake of food tremendously and find time to exercise.

I think that's the only thing I want to change.

I've always been commented by a polytechnic friend who told me that my fashion sense is pretty bad. She commented out of goodwill, and I appreciates it. But I really have no desire to change my fashion sense; ugly t-shirts and a pair of jeans.

I have low self-esteem, and it is mostly thanks to my acne and the scars.


I am a guy full of contradiction. I can present to my classmates and convince them about physical self etc, and I can think of alot of examples why you shouldn't be having low self-esteem. But me, being a representation of myself failed to do it.


A good friend of mine, named Liang Zhi told me he's taking weight gainers stuff. He's pretty small-sized compared to me, but he wants to gain weight and look good. On the other hand, I want to get rid of my weight. It's ironic, but I guess we would do the same thing if we were in each other's shoes.


I wish I have perseverance and not break my promise. Sometimes, the soul is willing, but the body refuse to budge.



I'm waiting for the day where I look at myself in the mirror, with the utmost sincerity and honesty and tell myself this sentence:


"I'm thankful for loving who I really am."

Everything started with curiosity.

When you think of how people transformed over thousands of years to become what we are today, what drives them to evolved to us being so industralised and modernised?

One word: Curiosity.

It is only with curiosity that inventions are made by people, be it just a simple chair, a table or even utensils.

Let me give an example. We all know that cow produces milk, and that we have to squeeze its tits to extract them out.

A man milking a cow.

But think about it. During the old days, where Mankind knew NOTHING, which human being will be so curious about SQUEEZING a cow's NIPPLES, and when there is this particular white liquid OOZING out from its several nipples, he OPENS HIS MOUTH TO DRINK IT TO SEE IF IT IS SAFE TO DRINK OR NOT.

And nowadays, the 'modern' milk have several names like homogenised or pasteurised milk, and has to undergo several tests to kill off bacteria and germs.

See? Even nature's milk have to undergo so many processes just for human consumption.

As you're reading this, take a few seconds and look at your surroundings.

Think about how your soft drink is made; who would think of the perfect ingredients to make that soft drink.

Look at your plate of noodles. It's tasty. But who would really be curious to test out certain processes and ingredients to dish out such tasty noodles?

Curiosity will forever be with us. It's a learning process.

However, the learning process can be a tough one for others.

These people are those who needs to go through certain processes before understanding the full danger of it, even though they already witness events of it happening, but it did not deter them.

For example, despite anti-smoking campaigns that are around to deter people from smoking, there are still countless people who smoke.

An anti-smoking campaign.

People who already smoke will only realise that they should stop it when they start to have certain illnesses or symptoms.

Then, there are people who thinks that smoking won't get them addicted, and they start to smoke the first puff. The second puff. The third puff, and for the rest of their lives.

It simply goes the same for drugs abusers and little kids.

Why little kids?

Because kids are innocuous, and that they sometimes need to learn it the hard way.

When I was a kid, I would always like to touch the boiling kettle. My mom felt I needed to be taught a lesson because it was dangerous, she forced my index finger to the boiling kettle's surface for 5-6 seconds.

It was SO HOT, I cried for 4 hours. And I never touch the boiling kettle for 5 years.

It's the same thing when kids try to play with fire, or jumping around risking injury.

So people, curiosity is a quality that will help us learn, change and evolve to become the way we are now, be it good or bad.

I don't know why, but I suddenly thought of the idiom: Curiosity kills the cat.

Never mind.

I still dream like a kid.

I think I shouldn't watch fiction movies or whatsoever. I like to dream as a superhero who helped people and sacrifice himself for death.

For example, I was watching X-Men 3 last time, and I was so obsessed with Storm that I dream that I was the male version of Storm, probably Zeus.

Storm in X-Men 3.

Do you know how cool it is to have the ability to command lightning strikes that can frighten every single thing on Earth? And I'll electrocute bad people with bolts of lightning.

Next, is the famous cartoon Pokemon. It is the best cartoon I've ever seen when I was around Primary 5 or something.

I was so fantasised with it that I hope that there will be such a Pokemon world, which I can train my Pokemon to be top-notch condition.

I don't think I'm the only one who dreams of it. Even Pokemon fans like these (below) dress up for cosplay.

A Pokemon fan dressing as James from Team Rocket.

James from Team Rocket in the cartoon.

The next and final one is....

Harry Potter.

I'm pretty sure each and everyone of us are attracted to wizardry world. I was especially attracted after I read the first 3 books. And even more so when Harry Poter adapted movies came out.

I dream of being someone who had spells that can cause widespread destruction to the bad guys, and have the ability to heal anyone with any disease.

Harry Potter in one of the movies.

Awesome.

You know, dreaming about being an actor that involves fantasy is really cool.

CGI (Computer Generated Imagery) is the best technology ever in the movie industry.

So what do you dream about?

Double Delight, One Accident.

Yay, I'm going to next week's S.H.E concert! I'm going to see MY Selina!

Oh my god! *Starts to jump and hop around*

Thanks for Jun Ping and Jeremy for helping me, because I couldn't make it because I need to go to visit my uncle's newborn with my family.

The ticket giveaway started around 6pm, and by right, we have to wake up at around 6am and meet in Compass Point at 7.30am..

Anyway, I would like apologise to Winnie, Jun Ping and Jeremy, because I couldn't make it.




On a relevant note, we went to Choa Chu Kang to visit the little newborn and she's so cute. She's only like 1 weeks old and she looks really tiny.





I was playing with her, by touching her legs (not what you pervertic people think) and you know what came immediately to my mind? Her flesh is so soft, I thought the texture looks like durian's flesh! She's really cute, especially when she yawns.





I also witness how she was bathed, and a small part of the umbilical cord was there, and it was black in colour. They still had to put some powder and lotion for it to drop. Eww gross.

AND GUESS WHAT?

My mom told me she still has my umbilical cord! She still keeps it. That's really disgusting, and won't it decompose after like 18 years or something?!






Anyway, I was asked to carry her, but I realise I had a phobia, because I am extremely scared that I may drop her, and you know.. the skull of a baby is not very strong.





And by the way, her name is really unique. She's called Kayley Nico Lin Shan Qi. Nice name right? I think she's going to be an elegant and graceful lady next time. And probably a singer!








Here are the photos:










Sleeping with her mouth wide open. Cute!






Sweet dreams..



Babies are the most fortunate. They just sleep there and being fed with milk with no worries. Ahhh...


On an irrelevant note, my Sony 1 GB Thumbdrive which my aunt gave it to me last year officially died on me when I accidentally dropped it on the floor last week. Damn it, I didn't know it was so fragile!

Finally back!

Been very busy this week and I hope I won't be as busy as the weeks to come.. I've been doing a painting assignment for 10 hours. I've also been constructing my coffin perfume packaging for around 10 hours too.

I'm so pissed off with one of the lecturers, because of decorative hinges. As far as I'm concerned, I didn't remember him showing us which hinges to buy etc. Considering the fact that I bought extra material with my own money, plus buying hinges and other stuff,

I was infuriated because it couldn't be used. Do I have to mention that the lecturer complained about my coffin packaging? He said I've developed a habit for something. And I don't know what his mouth spews. I seriously can't understand what some of the lecturers meant.

Grrrr..

But anyway, today's also the special day for the special release of......

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

I myself didn't pre-order the book, because I only read till the first 3 books. But I've watched every single Harry Potter movies!

Hmmm so as you read this post, people are hurrying to read up the final book of Harry Potter's adventures. Major characters will be killed too. And guess what? Counsellors are getting ready to talk to children on phone just in case Harry Potter dies..

Speaking of which, I had a bet with my polytechnic friend Ee Keng which I told her that if Harry Potter dies, she's going to treat me a drink, and vice versa.

On a total irrelevelant note, I also had my presentation of Physical Self yesterday, and I think I carry myself very well. I managed to speak fluently, and answer questions that were difficult.

Here are the photos:

The group which is presenting yesterday.

With Shi Li..

With Rebecca.

With Fazal and Yao Zhong.

With Yao Zhong.

With Victoria and Mir-ene.

With Marilyn.

With Shirley.

That's all about it.. Thanks to Shirley for the pictures..

Till then...

What's wrong with me?

I have been dreaming in my sleep for quite some time now.



Nothing wrong you say, but there's this really weird thing that is happening to me. I would dream of an area, or someone talking to me. And funnily enough, it really came true.



2 weeks ago, I dreamt about talking to Winnie, but I couldn't remember when and what was the place. I was thinking how is it possible for me to talk to her, because she was my junior, and we were seldom in contact. Then it happened.



I talked to her in the Choir barbeque, and while I was talking to her, I suddenly found the
scenario creepingly similar, and that I realise it happened in my dreams. It was so surreal.



Mind you, it's not the first time. It's the 3rd or 5th time.


I really think that my some of my dreams are the predicament of the future. And I'm dead serious. Hopefully, I won't dream of something disastrous. (Though I dreamt of a stupid Godzilla chasing human beings and killing them a few days ago and it was so real.)


Hopefully, I will dream of myself diving underwater and being so jovial. Wait. How about dreaming 4 numbers, so that I can strike lottery and win money?

Random topics.

Yingying left Nanyang Polytechnic because she wanted to pursue her own dreams; being an interior designer. She found a school, but the intake was over, and she intend to sign up next year, so meanwhile she's working. Could tell that she hates engineering alot.

We both share similar sentiments except that the great irony is that I'm taking a design course which isn't very favourable to me, and she wants it. If there is something called Diploma in Marine Biology or whatsoever, I think I have no second thoughts and join the course. There isn't such a course in Singapore I believe.

Anyway, I just like to wish my old friend all the best to her future endeavours..





In a total unrelated topic, I shall say that I seldom do such quizzes, but since Lynette was the one who asked me to do it, here's the response for my dear friend:


SIX WEIRDEST THINGS ABOUT ME

1. I like to listen to techno and fast-paced songs whenever I'm feeling agitated or angry.
2. I think I have tear glands which can make me cry easily, which I don't like it.
3. I love marine wildlife and the sea, but I don't dare to swim in the sea.
4. I have this impression that ladies' hair always smell ridicuously nice.
5. I dont know the basic of English language; verbs, adjectives etc.
6. I sometimes wish I have anorexia, though I understand that is a terrible illness.


Okay that's all about it.



Updates will be infrequent for this week, because I will be very busy. Will respond to comments in the tagboard though.

Great movie, great event.

Watched the Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix movie yesterday, and I should say it is definitely a commendable effort by the movie crew, considering the fact that they were able to squeeze 800 pages into an approximately 2 hours and 15 minutes film. What's more, it's difficult to use CGI (Computer Generated Imagery) that is similar to the the spell effects used in the book.

The acting was solid, especially the role of Professor Umbridge, Harry Potter, McGonagall, Luna Lovegood and most importantly, Trelawney.

Take note of the showdown between Dumbledore and Voldemort. It's awesome.

So I'm going to give it 4/5.

Yesterday also marked a barbeque event of my beloved choir. I had a great time catching up with all of them, and if it's not for the fact that I have so many assignments that I haven't done, I would like left in a later time.

The school had a barbeque pit built!

Juniors getting together and help out.

I seem to love the effects that my camera is bringing out.

Our dear Mr Francis Liew helped out too!

Come to think of it, Mr Liew had took us since the first batch of the school. Think about it. It's been 7 years. I do hope he will remain as the choir instructor for as long as possible.

We really love you. Mr Francis Liew.

Here are the pictures:

Mark Wong and I. He's damningly comical!

The ever lovely Michelle. She's studying the same school as me!

My Junior Kevin. He's funny and he's like a child!

Junior Steven! He still remembers my trademark!

Junior Walter. He's so small-sized, that I feel almost inferior.

With my juniors Charlton and Daniel!

Charlton, and another lovely junior. (Hmm I forgot her name, sorry!)

Lastly, the senior batches of Choir...

Every single one of us joined Choir for a common passion. Singing. Yet after we graduated, our lives changed differently, each of us taking different paths. But no matter what, I hope every one of us will keep in contact, and if better still, have an alumni Choir.

I love you guys.

Kudos to the EXCO members of Choir, teachers, Mr Francis Liew who made this barbeque such a great event!

Thanks for the compliment.

I'm getting flattered by my dad's actions. Apparently, he picked up the A3 poster assignment that I did for the 2nd one from the waste paper basket and paste it on the wall!

He said I look good in shades.

Oh, and when I was walking past the canteen, a friend named Han Wen called me and told me how good my latest poster is! Hey buddy, thanks for the compliment.


On a different note, life is still very hectic for me, with assignments that are needed to pass up every moment.

I only want a wish. Get out of polytechnic, finish National Service, and get a brand new life.

I miss diving so much..........

Money money money..

I seriously hate it when I have to carry heavy things and the worst thing is that my legs are aching. Bloody safety boots, why can't they make it more comfy? Safety boots are so heavy, I had to drag myself every single step.








And well, here's a tip to people who's thinking of going to Nanyang Polytechnic's Visual Communication. The most important thing besides working hard in the course and handing assignments on time is..... MONEY.








You need money for your materials. Especially for model-making, they only provide you a certain size and quantity, and if you need extra, you have to buy them. For example, I was using foamcore, and it wasn't enough, so I had to buy one. It costs $8.00





My recent project requires me to use more balsa wood. And I went to ArtFriend at Bras Brasah Complex to buy one today. $8.00.








Not only that, I had to buy hinges, A4 drawing block, A4 folder and other ridicuously-priced items such as penknives and brushes. I bought one penknife for $6.50. And for 2 paint brushes, I PAID MORE THAN $10 FOR IT OKAY!!!





Dude, I can't understand why paintbrushes are so ridicuously priced, although the quality between cheap and expensive ones are distinguishable..





Overall, I spent $35 within an hour.





Do I have to mention that durng design classes, you need to spent money on colour-printing too? I spent ALOT. And I spent even more when my lecturer asks me to redo certain assignments.





So people, I guess that sums up why you need money for this course.








Sorry man, it's grumbling-about-money entry. I could grumble more if not for a good news is that Uncle Ken's wife Sherlynn gave birth to a healthy baby girl today!





Sherlynn and Ken.


Congratulations!! I think I'm going to pamper the little girl alot when she grows older! I don't know what she will be named as, but if I had a daughter, I think I'm going to name her Fantasia or Jennifer.


But no matter what, I hope the little baby girl will turns out to be a refined lady someday that will contributes greatly to the society.

Work and dive.

Damn it, I need to confirm how many weeks of holidays there are, cos' I wanna work for at least a month, and then buy the things I want, do the things I like, ESPECIALLY DIVING.

Hopefully, none of the lecturers will give us any assignments during the break, which I heard is around 9 weeks.

After I work for at least a month, the most important thing is to go diving.. I think I will ask some fellow diving friends to go along, and ask Alex from Fishermenscuba to plan with it. (Maybe I'll ask Yeancy and her boyfriend along? Haha!) Speaking of which, I think Miss Audrey Tan had some illness, and she has left the school so I doubt North Vista Sec will plan for the diving.

She's such a wonderful teacher and has always been so optimistic. I wish we could organise one trip to her house and pay her a visit. I kinda miss her alot.. Sigh.. I really pray that she get better and be as healthy as ever.

Anyway, here are 2 random pictures:

Rebecca(Left), James and Weiqi (right)

Had to use shades for one of my projects. Rebecca and Weiqi then suggested taking a picture. Took this picture without smiling deliberately. I doubt you guys want to see the actual photo of me wearing the shades right?

Though I intended to use it for my blog template..

This picture taken with Shirley is like long time ago.. But I thought might as well post it since we both are wearing shades.

Will end here, with the greatest hope that Miss Audrey Tan will be alright.

Miss Tan in pink t-shirt.I'm sure we (5N'06) really miss you alot.

I hope you recover soon and bounce back! I hope we can visit you someday.

Forgetful..

You know, I actually have alot of contents to blog about, but I always restrict myself to one post per day. Then, I started to forget some of the main contents that I always wanted to bring across in this blog.

I think I better note it down once I have the inspirations!


Oh, and I have so many ideas for the new blog template! But I'm thinking seriously for a personal domain name, instead of using blogspot.com. Blogger is good, but it gives me problems sometimes.


But archives will be gone, and the only way is to rewrite all of my posts. 350 of them.


Hmm...

One tight slap for myself.

I sometimes need to give myself a one tight slap. Two maybe. After more than 2 months in polytechnic, I started to SUFFER nostalgia.




No, it's not secondary school this time. It's junior college. I was thinking of the few days I've spent with my classmates. I can still remember their faces, but I forgot their names.











I started to think of this crazy guy, who ran towards me eagerly to shake my hand as if I was his idol in the canteen, and exclaimed: "Oh my god, are you James?! I'm *******! It's nice to meet you!" I initially thought he was gay.








I started to miss college dancing with Jaspreet. IT WAS DAMN FUN. We were holding hands, and we turned around clumsily and laughing. She's so jovial sweet!














And Elana! I was really gullible to believe someone that she is a Malay because of her tanned skin! But she is a Chinese..











But most importantly, it was Lynette. I could still remember we were having some ice-breaking games, and she was the first one who initiated a conversation with me. Thought she was really sweet.





Lynette is the closest friend I had in my short span in Junior College and we hit off pretty well.






I think it is safe to say that Lynette was the only one who helped me during my days, and I would like say a big thank-you to you because you lent a listening ear, gave advice, and willing to be a great friend in my JC life. I regret not taking pictures with you at that time.. So I decided to grab one from you (Sorry!) to let others know how great you have been!









Lynette (Right) Taken from http://-nette.blogspot.com



A big thank you to you, Lynette! I hope we can go out some other day!



Also, I started to think how my Visual Communication course will affect my future.



Will the effect be drastic? Or minimal? I also like to believe that if I had been given more time to adjust to a Junior College, I will definitely not appeal out.



Getting in one is already a shocker for me, and I had always believed I'm stupid and inferior to others till now, thanks to the Singapore education system. (I'll blog some other time about it.)I thought I would like to see what is the maximum for my potential.


Also, I also have this mindset of being slower than others. I like to compare.I'm in Normal Academic stream which takes another year longer than most students in Singapore.


I don't want to lag behind as much, so I thought getting into a junior college could hasten the speed.


But since I already got into a polytechnic, and I got into what I wished for at that point of time, so I shouldn't regret at all. But I'm starting to feel it that way.


I guess it will still remain as the most controversial decision in my life yet.. And it still affects me till this very day.



Thanks Lynette once again..

Attention!

Watch Live Earth on Channel 5, as it is an event to bring people together and solve global warming. It is said that there will be more than 100 artists and 2 billion people.


For Singapore, Live Earth is being broadcasted in Channel 5 at 7pm onwards. And it will probably stretch to 7am, as Live Earth is a concert which lasts for 24 hours. Artistes such as Madonna, Akon, Bon Jovi, Kelly Clarkson, Rihanna! There're also artistes from Asia such as Eason Chan, Evonne Hsu, Ai Otsuka and Komi Kuda!

In Singapore, everyone is encouraged to wear green clothings for Live Earth!

It'll be till 7 July 2007, which is 07/07/07.


AND...


07/07/07 is also the day to mark the new 7 wonders of the world! Well, I think you still can vote for your favourite iconic buildings and structures such as the Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal and Easter Island!



Do take note of this special day of the 2 VIP events!

Low self-esteem.

Haunting images of acne scars are coming back. And it makes me feel terrible. Over the years, when I take photographs with friends and family, I always avoid looking at my own face. I seldom look into the mirror.




I'm still taking Accutane, and although pimples are rare nowadays, the scars are much more visible. One day, I mistakenly look into the mirror to find out how terrible the scars were, and that I'm so depressed.







I've always had trouble with the way of how I look. During my primary school and early secondary school days, I refused to take any photographs unless it was necessary, and that I hate to look into the mirror.








During secondary school days, pimples became acne, and it got so bad, I had to see a doctor.






In order not to try to think of such things, I tried to make myself think I'm good-looking.
















I managed to succeed, and my ego started to grow.
















Then one fine day, one girl commented on my looks. The girl I used to love, said such insensitive things, and that is still not forgotten till this day.























It was like as if your body was pierced with so many spears.





I tried to pick myself up after that, but to not much avail. I'm still trying to tell myself that I'm just a caterpillar in its cocoon, and I haven't transform into a butterfly.





Up till now, I still believe that if my scars are gone, and that I lose alot of weight, I'll look alot better.




Here are 2 photos from a photo-shoot which are for my assignment. We were models for a day, and to be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to it. We had to mimic famous people with their poses.


It looks ugly.







Robbie Williams







Fantasia Barrino



I need to learn the meaning of self-acceptance.