Some people have expressed concern over my intake of Accutane. Some asked why was I so stupid to take an acne drug that potentially has the ability to take my life, though the chances are below 1%. Others felt that acne is a come-and-go thing, and that it's a matter of time before it clears up.
Allow me to explain.
About my stupidity in taking Accutane
There are a few reasons why I decided to take Accutane.
1. I've tried other antibiotics but the effect was minimal.
2. My acne is worsening.
3. There are visible scars.
4. Desperation.
Please don't question my intelligence. I have understood the side effects of the drug, and I accepted it.
Who doesn't prefer medicines that are safe? I have tried them, and they were not effective towards my skin condition. To add on, my acne is worsening ever since 'O' levels, and there are already scars. That's why it drove my desperation to clear my acne. My doctor recommended Accutane, and after much discussion, I decided to take it.
Acne is a come-and-go thing, why risk your life consuming such a drug?
People has the mentality that teenagers who have acne will not have them again once they grow up. It's wrong. There's something called Adult Acne. Everyone is different, especially with genes and enviroment.
Risk my life? Yes, I admit. But I've carefully thought of this important issue.
Some rhetorical questions:
Do you know that acne has been affecting me for the past 2 years?
Do you know how depressing it is to be the ONLY one who has acne for such a time?
Do you know how I feel when people like to tease on my skin condition?
NO. A BIG NO.
Everytime I perform in school performances and competitions, I'm very self-conscious. Every time there is a big fat bump on my skin, I gets depressed. But in order to be a professional performer, I had to grit my teeth and perform.
Let's talk about clothes. I rarely buy clothes unless my mom wants me to. I mean, what's the point of buying new clothes when my face is reddish, with scars and pimples? During Uncle Ken's wedding, did you know that I didn't felt like buying clothes at Animal in Marina Square because of my acne? But my mom wanted, and I bought for the sake for buying.
So guess what? I decided to gel my hair and sprays perfume sometimes in an attempt to have some self-confidence. It helps sometimes.
If I don't consume Accutane and do something about my acne, scars will be visible and it may be too late even if I went for surgery. And if it is too late, won't I have to see my moon-cratered face everyday? It will be depressing for me, and I may have suicidal thoughts.
Allow me to quote Zoe Tay,
"When you look good, you feel good."
So might as well start now and use Accutane, and do something about it, so that I won't regret next time.
I would like to thank people for their concern, but please do bear in mind that it's my choice. I will have no regrets. I will face whatever side effects that comes. I hope this post will allow you to understand my feelings as it reflects totally how I feel.
In a total irrelevant note, my poor discus has died... Rest in peace.... :(
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