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As a Scorpio, I tend to probe into the depths of life, questioning my purpose and existence on Earth.
What am I here for? Why do I have the ability to think? What happens when I die? Why am I born like that? Why am I a human being? Why am I born in this family? What is the true definition of life?
Whenever I starts to contemplate about these incomprehensible questions, I get myself too affected and I can be on the brink of being crazy.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who contemplates such questions, but I believe people turned to faith because they couldn't find answers in life.
There was once when my dad asked me:
Dad: What do you think of religion?
Me: I don't know, but scientifically speaking, religion is something that people chose to believe in the ancient days when they couldn't find answers when something occurs and they cannot explain it. So they believed in things such as mountain gods etc.
Despite being brought up with a faith in Taoism/Buddhism and that I frequently go to temples on weekends, my faith isn't particularly strong. I prayed because I respected, and I prayed because of my selfish personal gains of being hoping to be granted good grades for examinations and personal safety.
The old always contemplates where they go after they die. Will they just die and sleep forever? Will they become spirits and go to Heaven or Hell?
No matter what religion you believe in, no one can 100% be certain where you will be going when you die. Different people gives you different answers. There isn't a fixed answer for it. No one knows for sure.
I once read in a blog which has the particular conversation:
"Prove to me that God exists."
"Prove to me that he doesn't exist."
How powerful. Both questions cannot be proven, because there isn't really concrete evidence, at least to me.
Even up till now, I'm still unable to seek answers (although I don't think I ever will.), but still prays to God.
I mean, it's nice to think that we are created by God, and everything included the universe are created by God.
Sometimes when I see people dying from famine and diseases in TV, I always would like to question:
"Where was God when these people needed them?"
I've witnessed possessions and ghosts, and I do believe in them. But sometimes, seeing is believing and I don't want to believe faith blindly. Imagine believing in something and being devoted for all your life, only to know that it doesn't exist.
So far, the only thing that I truly believe is Karma, because it makes a lot of sense and logic to me, and it answers a lot of my questions in life.
I also accepts the fact that we'll never know when we will die. I would never know what will happen to me tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week, next month, next year etc.
I mean, you will see dead people on the news, whom probably died of accidents, diseases and other factors. These "sudden" incidents have one common thing in them.
They never get a chance to say goodbye to there families.
That's why I think it's always good to prepare a death note, just in case if anything untowardly happens to you.
But for now, I'm just a person who prays for the sake of it, and doesn't have a very strong faith in my religion.
I would still choose to believe in God, but I'm still looking for the right direction, and the right path.
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